The Ouran Supernaturals
by Eileena of Idreal
Summary: Zombies and time travel and...pirates? Strange things are going down at Ouran Academy! How will our beloved Host Club survive their craziest year yet? Full summaries included with each episode. Alt. anime series
1. The Host Club vs the Zombies Part 1

**Hi hi hi my amazing reader peeps! I'm back for a brand new piece of fanfiction! This is very different than TDPO, however, many of the personalities are similar, so be prepared. This is an altnerate anime series that takes place after the original anime, so no manga spoilers. I will warn you, the updates for this will not be as regular as they were for TDPO, but I'll try really hard. Read and review my friends!**

**Episode Summary: A strange virus is released into the neighborhood around Ouran, turning half the residents into zombies! When the zombies converge around the school, how will the Host Club survive?**

**The Host Club vs. The Zombies Part 1**

**The Host Club is Open for Business!**

_I can't believe that's my boyfriend,_ Haruhi Fujioka thought, rolling her eyes as she watched the tall blond boy shamelessly dote on the swooning girl next to him.

As king of the Host Club, it was Tamaki Suoh's job to make sure every girl was enjoying herself. Haruhi usually didn't care about it that much, but every once in a while a pang of female jealousy would hit her. She shook it off; they could never go public in high school anyway. She was supposed to be a boy. That would just get awkward.

"Are you all right, Haruhi?" a cool voice asked.

She turned to see Kyoya Ootori, financier of the Host Club, standing behind her casually scribbling something in his black book.

"I'm fine," Haruhi answered.

"Getting a little jealous?" Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin appeared, draping their identical arms around her shoulders.

"No," Haruhi said, ducking out from under them. "I'm just a bit tired."

"You and Tamaki went out last night, didn't you?" Hikaru asked.

"I bet you were out late," Kaoru said. "Really late!"

"Shut up!" Haruhi snapped, walking away.

"Oooh! Denial!" Hikaru and Kaoru chorused. "That means we must be right!"

Haruhi made a disgusted sound. Those two could be inhumanly boorish sometimes. She was so lost in her thoughts about how she was going to murder them someday, she almost walked into Mori.

"Oh, sorry, Mori-sempai."

The only acknowledgement she got from the dark haired third year was a grunt. In the year she'd known him, Mori had only spoken a few sentences to her. The only one he really talked to was Honey-sempai, the bunny loving martial arts prodigy.

"Haru-chaaaaaan!"

Haruhi turned to see Honey bounding towards her, trademark stuffed rabbit clutched in one hand.

"Hey Honey-sempai," she smiled.

"You look a little down," Honey said. "Do you want some cake?"

"No, I'm fine," Haruhi replied. "I'm just tired, I want to get home."

"Tired? I didn't think we stayed out that late," Tamaki said after ushering the remaining guests out of the room.

"Tamaki, I got home at midnight."

"Oh," Tamaki looked surprised. "I guess it didn't feel late because I was with you."

"Stop being cheesy, sempai," Haruhi sighed.

"Cheesy?" Tamaki exclaimed. "I am not cheesy! How dare you call me cheesy! That was completely and utterly uncalled for!—"

Haruhi sighed, she loved Tamaki to death, he was her boyfriend after all, but sometimes he deserved to be spaced out. Midway into his tirade, Kyoya's cell phone started to ring.

"Shut up Tamaki," Kyoya sighed, fishing it out of his pocket and flipping it open in one motion. "Yes? Sergeant Shojin, what's wrong?…What?"

All the color drained from Kyoya's face. Haruhi knew there was something terribly wrong. Kyoya wasn't one to lose his cool like that. The rest of the Host Club knew as well. She felt Tamaki's warm hand enclose around hers.

"How is that possible?" Kyoya asked. "Sergeant! What's going on?…Where are you?…What?…I can't hear you!…Sergeant! Sergeant!"

Kyoya's eyes went wide and he slowly clicked the phone closed. He swallowed hard.

"Kyoya?" Tamaki asked.

"There was a security breach at my family's medical research facility," he replied. "The vaccine that was supposed to cure people of allergies was stolen."

"Wasn't that the one that failed because of some weird side effect?" Hikaru asked.

"It wasn't just weird, it was dangerous," Kyoya answered.

"What was it?" Haruhi asked.

"I was never told," Kyoya said. "All I know is, if it were released the results would be catastrophic."

"Is it like a virus or something?" Tamaki asked, gripping Haruhi's hand a little tighter.

"Like I said, I was never told. But it's dangerous and it's _out_! Whoever stole it injected one of the security guards and—Kaoru! What the hell are you doing with that camcorder?"

"Documenting!" Kaoru replied. "This is really good! Hikaru and I have always wanted to make a movie for Youtube and this is perfect fodder!"

"Are you serious?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah, doesn't everyone dream of being an internet sensation?" Hikaru answered. "I mean, look at _Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog_ and the _Blair Witch Project_."

"I wanna be in your movie!" Honey exclaimed.

Mori made a sound that reminded Haruhi of Lurch the butler from _The Addams Family_.

"A dangerous virus is loose on the streets and all you care about is _Youtube_!" Tamaki screeched.

Haruhi massaged her temples as Tamaki launched into another one of his trademark tirades. This was ridiculous.

"Tamaki!" she snapped, grabbing his face in both hands. "Calm down!"

Tamaki immediately quieted down and Haruhi let him go.

"What else did the sergeant say?" she asked Kyoya.

"He said that we shouldn't leave the school," Kyoya replied. "They weren't sure how fast the virus has spread. If it's on the streets now it could be anywhere. Then some strange moaning sound interrupted him and the line went dead."

"Can't leave the school?" Haruhi exclaimed. "You've gotta be kidding! What about my dad? If there's a virus loose in the streets he has to know! He's the only family I've got left. I have to warn him!"

"You're not going out there!" Tamaki grabbed her wrist.

"Yes I am!" Haruhi struggled in his grip. "I'm not going to lose my father too!"

"NO!" Tamaki snarled, grabbing her shoulders. "I almost lost you once on that bridge and I'm not going through that again!"

Haruhi glared at him. She felt tears forming in her eyes. How could he be so stupid? Didn't he understand? Tamaki's gaze softened and he gently took her face in his hands. Haruhi lowered her eyes. She didn't want to look at him and she didn't want to cry.

"You know," Kyoya said. "You could just call him. We all have cell phones."

"Damn it Kyoya!" Hikaru burst out. "You just had to ruin it, didn't you!"

"It was the perfect scene!" Kaoru whined. "And the lighting was exactly right too!"

"I'm sorry for your suffering," Kyoya rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that," Tamaki released Haruhi and took out his cell phone. "Here you go."

Haruhi took the phone with an exasperated sigh, she should have figured that out. Tamaki's high school persona was rubbing off on her. Haruhi quickly dialed her home phone and waited for her dad to pick up.

"Hello?" Ranka said with a sing-song voice.

"Hey dad, it's me," Haruhi said.

"Haruhi what is it?" Ranka asked. "Did that boyfriend of yours deflower you? Cuz if he did—"

"Dad, no," Haruhi replied. "Do you have to go to work tonight?"

"Of course, why? Did something happen?"

"A terrorist broke into the Ooteri medical research lab and released a virus into the streets," Haruhi began. "Please don't leave the house."

"A VIRUS!" Ranka shrieked. "Where are you?"

"I'm at Ouran with the guys."

"I'm coming to get you."

"No, dad, I've been ordered to stay at the school," Haruhi said. "Just stay home, I'll be fine. Keep an eye on the news."

Ranka sighed heavily, "Alright, just be safe, okay? Call me if anything else happens. I love you, Haruhi."

"Love you too, dad," Haruhi hung up and handed the phone back to Tamaki.

"So, what now?" Tamaki asked.

"I guess we're stuck here," Kyoya shrugged.

"Stuck here?" Kaoru asked.

"All night?" Hikaru's eyes glittered.

"I guess."

The twins looked at each other, "PAR-TAY!"

"Yay cake!" Honey exclaimed. "Let's get some Takashi!"

Mori groaned and reluctantly followed him to the back where they kept the food.

"What are we going to do about dinner anyways?" Tamaki asked. "I'm starving."

"Who's up for a cafeteria raid?" Hikaru asked.

Kyoya sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm in!" Tamaki grinned.

"Anyone else coming?" Kaoru asked.

"I might as well," Kyoya said. "Someone's gotta keep you bozos from destroying the school."

"You coming Haruhi?" Tamaki asked.

"No, I think I'll stay with Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai," Haruhi answered.

"Is there anything you want me to bring you?"

"Some fancy tuna would be nice if they have it."

"You got it, my love," Tamaki kissed her forehead. "I'll be back in a bit. Don't pine for me too much!"

"Just go already!" Haruhi gave him a good natured shove. "I'm hungry!"

Tamaki chuckled and left with Kyoya and the twins.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Haruhi didn't recognize even half of the food her boyfriend returned with, but she did recognize the fancy tuna.

"Thank you Tamaki," she said, picking a piece up with her chopsticks.

"You're welcome, love," Tamaki answered, tucking into some fancy looking French dish.

After they ate, the twins decided to hook Kyoya's laptop up to a projector and watch movies. Haruhi didn't really feel like watching _Law Abiding Citizen_, so she went and sat by the window. The sun was setting, staining the sky red…like blood. Haruhi shuddered inwardly and prayed her dad was okay. The streets were almost completely deserted and she hoped it was because everyone had heard about the virus.

"Are you okay?"

Haruhi turned to see Tamaki standing there. He had forsaken his uniform jacket and tie and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his white shirt. Haruhi found it hard to think of an answer right off the bat.

"I'm fine," she answered. "But…"

"You're worried about your dad," Tamaki sat down beside her.

"Yeah," Haruhi said, not meeting his eyes.

"Come here," Tamaki whispered as he opened his arms to her.

Haruhi moved in and pressed her face to his muscular chest, clinging to his shirt. Tamaki slipped his arms around her and held her close.

"Your dad's a smart guy," he said. "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"I know," Haruhi's voice came out as a squeak.

"If you need to cry it's okay," Tamaki went one. "I'm your boyfriend, it's what I'm here for. You should know that by now."

A few hot tears escaped from Haruhi's tightly closed lids and soaked into Tamaki's shirt.

"It's okay," Tamaki whispered, kissing her hair. "I'm here, I'm here."

Haruhi shuddered as she repressed a sob and clung more tightly to Tamaki. She had never been so worried and she didn't really understand why. Maybe it was the fact that no one really knew what this virus was, or what it could do, or even where it was. Maybe it was because ever since her mom had died she'd secretly feared losing her dad as well. She felt Tamaki start to rub her back gently and continue to kiss her hair. Eventually, Haruhi's tears ceased and she took a deep breath.

"Feel okay?" Tamaki asked.

Haruhi nodded and lifted her face from her boyfriend's chest.

"Thank you," Haruhi said, wiping her eyes.

"Don't mention it, love," Tamaki replied.

"Get a room why don't ya!" Hikaru shouted from the couch.

"We haven't even started making out yet!" Tamaki called back.

"Hey Kaoru! Turn on the camera and see if you can catch some foreplay!"

"I'm on it, bro."

Both Tamaki and Haruhi flipped them the bird. The rest of the Club ooooooohed.

"I don't think they're going to do anything," Kaoru sighed.

"We'll get them later," Hikaru dismissed with a wave of his hand. "We've got all night!"

Both Haruhi and Tamaki groaned.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Kaoru had always been an early riser, unlike his brother, who regularly slept until ten at least. He liked having a little peace in the morning before Hikaru woke up. The sun was just beginning to rise when Kaoru awoke. All the others were still asleep. Kaoru grinned and turned on his camcorder.

"Okay," he whispered. "We've just spent the night at our high school because of that virus from yesterday and everyone else is still asleep," Kaoru panned the camera across the room. "There's my brother Hikaru, passed out in that chair over there. Kyoya's taken over the couch and Honey…oh goodness. Honey fell asleep with his face in his cake. Mori's sleeping on the floor, I have no idea how he can do that. Where the heck are Tamaki and Haruhi? I hope they aren't doing anything dirty in the back."

Kaoru chuckled and left the area where everyone else had crashed.

"Where the hell did they go?" Kaoru muttered.

He went into the room where they stored the props and costumes from hosting activities. In the center of the room was a massive pile of all the pillows they used for the Arabian Nights theme.

"What have we here?" Kaoru asked, walking towards the pile.

Tamaki was sprawled on his back on the cushions, shirtless. Haruhi was curled up beside him with her head resting against his bare chest and her hand on his stomach. She was still fully dressed.

"Aw, isn't that so cute," Kaoru said in a babyish voice. "Gotta love them teenage love affairs."

He let out a snort and left the room.

"Well this is kinda boring," Kaoru sighed. "Haruhi was fully clothed so that defeats any chance of making a porno. I wonder what the weather's gonna be like today."

He went to the window and looked out. What he saw immediately made him forget about the weather.

"Holy crap."

Kaoru spun away from the window and rushed to where his brother slept.

"Hikaru," he whispered, giving him a rough shake. "Hikaru, wake up!"

Hikaru groaned and opened one eye.

"What is it, bro?" he muttered. "It's six in the freaking morning!"

"You have to look out the window, now," Kaoru replied.

"Can't it wait?"

"No, you need to see this."

"This had better be good, bro," Hikaru grumbled, getting up and following Kaoru to the window.

When he looked outside, his golden eyes got huge.

"Holy shit, that's a lot of freaking zombies. Tell me you're filming this, Kaoru."

"Of course I am! What do you take me for?" Kaoru grinned. "We should probably wake the others, they need to see this."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Haruhi wasn't entirely sure what woke her up. It was either the sunlight or the kisses that Tamaki was liberally applying to the top of her head.

"Tamaki," Haruhi murmured, pushing him away.

"What?" Tamaki asked, moving his lips down to her neck.

"Cut it out."

"I don't even get a 'good morning'?" Tamaki purred, nuzzling at her throat.

"Good morning," Haruhi said flatly. "Happy now? And where the heck is your shirt?"

"Got too hot," Tamaki shrugged. "And that wasn't exactly the good morning I had in mind."

Haruhi glared at him for a moment and Tamaki gave her his infamous puppy dog eyes. She felt her resolve begin to crumble, she hated it when her boyfriend did that.

"Fine," Haruhi sighed heavily.

"Yes!" Tamaki grinned.

Haruhi rolled her eyes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," Tamaki pulled her in for another kiss.

Haruhi slipped her arms around Tamaki's neck and deepened the kiss.

"Yo! Boss! Haruhi!" the twins burst in. "You've gotta—oh, are we interrupting something?"

Haruhi and Tamaki immediately broke away.

"What the _hell_?" Haruhi demanded.

"Does the word 'knock' mean anything to you two?" Tamaki growled.

"In any normal circumstance we'd tell you to go back to what you're doing like we aren't even here," Kaoru said. "But this is an emergency."

"It's not that big of an emergency," Hikaru dismissed. "It can wait a few minutes, let's have another liplock."

"Shut up, Hikaru!" Kaoru snapped. "They're almost to the school!"

"What's almost to the school?" Haruhi asked.

"Look out the window," Kaoru said. "Trust me, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Tamaki and Haruhi quickly got up and followed the twins out of the room, Tamaki grabbing his shirt as he went. They entered the main room to find Kyoya in front of the window with a calculating expression on his face. Mori was still trying to wake Honey up.

"Well, I can see why the side effects of that vaccine were kept secret," Kyoya mused.

"What do you-?" Tamaki stopped in mid sentence.

Stumbling towards the gates of Ouran were zombies. Hundreds of shuffling, vacant-eyed, pale skinned, moaning zombies.

"Are those what I think they are?" Tamaki asked.

"It appears the side effect of the vaccine is a zombie apocalypse," Kyoya pinched the bridge of his nose.

"And _you_ said it wasn't a big emergency!" Kaoru hissed.

"You're still filming, right?" Hikaru asked.

"Of course I am! This footage alone would get us over a million hits on Youtube!"

"Is there a Halloween convention in town?" Honey asked.

"It's September, Mitsukuni," Mori said.

"They started early?"

"So, do any of you guys know what we're supposed to do?" Haruhi asked.

"No idea," Hikaru replied. "I can't believe it, bro. We're dealing with a legit zombie freaking apocalypse!"

"Best zombie movie ever made!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"Kyoya, any ideas?" Tamaki asked. "I'd help you come up with a few, but I'm currently on the verge of a complete mental breakdown and I can't process anything at the moment."

"Unfortunately, there are no words for this and therefore no ideas," Kyoya replied.

"OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Tamaki yelled, flapping his arms.

The rest of the Host Club groaned. Leave it to Tamaki to spaz out at the wrong moment.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!" Tamaki went on, starting to run around in circles while flapping his arms. "I HAVEN'T GRADUATED! I HAVEN'T SEEN MY MOTHER! HECK, I'M STILL A **VIRGIN**!"

"TAMAKI!" Haruhi shouted, grabbing a pillow off a nearby couch and swatting him with it. "SHUT UP!"

Tamaki immediately quieted but still looked agitated.

"You know, you don't have to die a virgin, boss," Hikaru said with a grin.

"You can change all that right now you like," Kaoru trained the camera on him.

"I thought you said this was an emergency," Kyoya said.

"Oh, right," Kaoru turned the camera back to the window. "The zombies are practically at the gates now."

"We need some weapons," Honey piped up. "Shotguns work best, but I don't think we have those here. The next best thing would be either something to bludgeon them with, or cut off their heads."

"How do you know this?" Haruhi asked.

"_The Zombie Survival Guide_," Honey answered.

"Dammit! Now we can't make a porno!" Hikaru whined.

"Let's split up and find some weaponry," Tamaki said. "Mori and I will go to the groundskeeper's shed. There has to be something in there."

"Hikaru and I are going to the woodworking shop," Kaoru announced. "I know I saw some two by fours in there we could use for bludgeoning."

"And a hatchet, I'm positive there was a hatchet," Hikaru added.

"There's a crowbar in a case near the gym, right?" Haruhi asked Kyoya.

"Yes," Kyoya nodded. "I'll go with you, I'm getting a katana from the fencing room."

"Who are you going with Honey-sempai?" Tamaki asked.

"I'm gonna stay here," Honey said. "I got my nunchucks."

He pulled a pair of nunchucks seemingly out of nowhere and held them up.

"All righty then," Tamaki said. "We meet back here in fifteen minutes."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Kyoya and Haruhi were the first ones to return to the music room.

"That's a cool sword Kyo-chan," Honey said.

"Thanks, it's the teacher's," Kyoya replied. "It was the only one sharp enough to cut flesh."

Haruhi did a few test swings with her newly acquired crowbar.

"We're back!" the twins announced. "And check out what we've got!"

"I can't believe our shop teacher didn't lock this baby up," Hikaru crooned, stroking his hatchet possessively. "If he thinks he's getting it back after this then he's got another thing coming!"

"Where are Mori-sempai and the boss?" Kaoru asked.

"Hey guuyyys! Guess what I found in the groundskeeper's shed!"

Everyone turned to see Tamaki standing just inside the main door holding a chainsaw.

"Oh god no! We're officially doomed!" Hikaru groaned. "Tamaki freaking Suoh has his paws on a freaking chainsaw. We're all gonna die."

"I wanted to make a flamethrower out of a leaf blower and the tank of gas on my back," Tamaki said. "But Mori wouldn't let me, the spoilsport!"

"Thank heavens you didn't allow him," Kyoya sighed. "I shudder to think of the damage costs we would amass."

"Uh, guys," Haruhi said, looking out the window. "They're climbing over the wall."

The others rushed over and looked out. Sure enough, the zombies were slowly climbing over the fence and stumbling towards the school. Suddenly the rumbling of a "powerful motor" shook the music room. Everyone turned to see a gigantic platform rising out of the floor with Renge perched on top of it.

"Renge!" Tamaki exclaimed. "There's a horde of zombies converging on the school! You need to find a weapon right away!"

"Uuuuugh!" Renge moaned, slowly turning to face them.

Her eyes were vacant and glazed over and her skin carried a grayish-green tinge. Renge was a zombie.

"Holy crap!" Hikaru exclaimed. "Even when she's a zombie she still knows how to work the rigging!"

The zombie Renge slowly started to make her way down the platform, arms outstretched like something from a bad horror flick.

"So, what do we do?" Tamaki asked, clutching his chainsaw.

"Well, she appears to have turned into a zombie," Kyoya said. "That means we're gonna have to kill her."

"But it's Renge," Tamaki replied.

"But she's also a zombie," Hikaru pointed out.

"One of us should do _something_!" Haruhi snapped. "Either we kill her or we run away."

"YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Honey leapt at the zombie Renge, whirling his nunchucks like a boy possessed. He landed a flying kick into the center of the zombie's sternum, knocking it down. Honey then proceeded to repeatedly bash it across the head with his nunchucks until it stopped twitching.

"That's for taking my cake away and making me be mean to Haru-chan!" he gave it only last kick. "Stupid zombie!"

The rest of the Host Club stood stock still and silent.

"Well," Hikaru cleared his throat. "I think we learned something very important about Honey-sempai today."

"He can has homicidal rage!" Kaoru replied.

Kyoya groaned and slapped his forehead. Haruhi and Mori shook their heads.

"I like that quote," Tamaki said.

"You would," Kyoya answered.

THUD!

Everyone turned and faced the door to the music room.

THUD!

"Guys, I think we have a problem," Haruhi said, hefting her crowbar.

THUD!

The door rattled on its hinges and Kyoya drew his katana.

CRACK!

A pale fist broke through the door, followed by another, and another.

"Oh dang," Kaoru breathed, aiming his camcorder at the door. "This is going to be the best zombie movie ever made."

"Haruhi," Tamaki said. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do," Haruhi replied. "I love you too."

The zombies pushed through the remains of the music room door and stumbled inside.

"So what now?" Hikaru asked. "Do we wait for them to come to us, or should we charge?"

The Host Club exchanged a glance. Suddenly Mori let loose a guttural roar and rushed the oncoming zombies, swinging his shovel.

"I guess we charge," Honey said. "YAAAAAAH!"

The others charged to meet the oncoming zombies…all but Tamaki. He stood rooted to the spot, not entirely sure why he couldn't bring himself to move. It was so surreal. Then Tamaki saw an all too familiar face among the crowd of undead, his grandmother. An odd change went over the countenance of Tamaki Suoh. His violet eyes took on an almost demented gleam and a slow Joker like grin stretched across his face. Tamaki revved his chainsaw and advanced towards his shambling zombie grandmother.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he growled, grinning even more.

Tamaki rushed with a yell and sliced off the zombie's arm.

"That's for what you did to my mum!" Tamaki shouted.

He lopped off the zombie's other arm.

"That's for trying to keep Haruhi away from me!"

Tamaki hefted his chainsaw high.

"And this is for trying to marry me off to that Éclair bitch!"

He whacked off the zombie's head in one stroke. The body dropped to the ground and lay still. Tamaki stood for a moment, breathing hard.

"That felt so good!" he laughed.

"Tamaki, behind you!" Haruhi shouted.

Tamaki whipped around just in time for a zombie to grab hold of his shoulder. He chopped off its arm only to find that the offending appendage remained latched onto him.

"AAAAAAH!" Tamaki shrieked as he ran around in circles. "Get it off me! Get it off me!"

"Some things will never change," Kyoya sighed, splitting a zombie's head open with his katana.

"Okay people, check this out," Kaoru said, pointing his camera at an approaching zombie. "Now this is how you kill a zombie!"

He swung his sawed off two by four and brained it.

"Whoo-bam!" Kaoru shouted. "No that's what I'm talkin' about!"

"Hey! Hey Kaoru!" Hikaru called. "Ya know what this fight needs?"

"What?"

"Background music!"

"Bro, that is genius!" Kaoru exclaimed. "How're we gonna do it?"

"Leave that to me," Hikaru replied. "I'll be right back."

"Hika-chan, where are you going?" Honey asked.

"Get back here you crazy freakin' ginger!" Tamaki shouted.

But Hikaru was already gone.

"Kaoru, do you have any idea where he went?" Haruhi asked, smacking a zombie across the face with her crowbar.

"He was going to get some background music," Kaoru replied.

"Background music?" the others chorused.

Suddenly the opening of _Girlfriend_ by Avril Lavigne blasted from the school loudspeakers. Everyone exchanged a glance.

"What the crap?" Mori asked.

"Whoo! This song makes me pumped!" Honey exclaimed. "I wanna kill more zombies!"

"Can't let him have all the fun," Tamaki grinned and rushed after Honey.

"That zombie over there looks kind of like Éclair," Haruhi said. "I think it needs to die now."

"You know, I can see why those two make such a cute couple," Kaoru spoke up as Haruhi walked towards the shambling zombie. "They both have homicidal tendencies."

"I might have to agree with you there," Kyoya replied.

"So was my music choice agreeable?" Hikaru asked, reentering the music room.

"Well Honey, Tamaki, and Haruhi seem to be enjoying themselves," Kyoya said.

"By the way," Hikaru went on. "There are zombies pouring into the school. We need to find a better position. Hey boss! Quit cutting that zombie into bite size chunks and get over here! Bring your girlfriend and the crazy midget too! We need to plan."

"What?" Tamaki asked.

"We need to find a better place to stay," Hikaru said. "There are zombies pouring into the school and we'll be trapped here if we're not careful."

"How about the science wing?" Haruhi asked. "It's pretty open."

"Better yet, the chem. and bio labs," Tamaki added. "Those rooms are huge and they're right near the cafeteria and teachers' lounge. We'd be able to stock up on food."

"Chemical weaponry," Mori said.

"Cake in the cafeteria!" Honey exclaimed.

"Sounds like our best bet," Kyoya shrugged.

"All right gents," Tamaki hefted his chainsaw. "To the labs! Move out!"

Then _Hit Me Baby One More Time_ came on.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Haruhi groaned. "You have this song?"

"Why not?" Hikaru asked. "Everyone loves Britney! I mean, come on, everyone liked her at least once in their lives."

"I guess I've never lived then," Kyoya rolled his eyes.

"Guys, we've got a little problem," Kaoru said. "How're we gonna get to the labs?"

"What do you mean?" Tamaki asked.

"Just look."

They gathered in front of the music room's demolished doors. The entire hallway was full of zombies.

"We're screwed," Hikaru said. "We are so screwed."

"Well, we obviously aren't getting out that way," Haruhi replied. "Any other suggestions?"

"There is one other way," Kyoya spoke up. "There's a room just down the hall that has a laundry chute that goes straight to the basement. Once we're down there we can work our way up."

"That's what she said," Hikaru muttered.

"Inappropriate," Mori whacked him upside the head.

"I don't get it," Honey said.

"Good," Mori grunted.

"I think that's our best bet," Tamaki shrugged. "Let's go. Chaaaaarge!"

Tamaki rushed headlong into the crowd of zombies, chainsaw snarling like a rabid animal.

"Hey! Save some for us!" Hikaru exclaimed, chasing after him while swinging his hatchet.

Then _Dynamite_ by Taio Cruz started to play.

"Give him some space for both his hands!" Kaoru shouted. "The boss is a zombie killing machine!"

"What we really need are some explosives," Hikaru said. "Then we'd really light it up like it's dynamite!"

"Get out of the way of me and my groove!" Honey yelled, braining a zombie with his nunchucks. "Stupid zombie!"

"I really hope they don't do this with every song," Kyoya sighed.

Mori and Haruhi nodded their agreement as they plowed through the zombie filled hall.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"Is everyone accounted for?" Kyoya asked, once they'd arrived in the room.

"I'm here!" Honey exclaimed. "So is Takashi!"

"Kaoru's filming the boss while he barricades the door with Haruhi," Hikaru said.

"You could help too you know!" Haruhi called. "And what song is playing? Is this last month's song from Spanish class?"

"Maybe," Hikaru looked at the ceiling.

"It is," Kaoru replied.

"I thought _Ave Maria_ was a Christmas song," Tamaki said.

"Not when David Bisbal sings it," Haruhi answered.

"Come on, it's a good song," Hikaru protested. "Don't diss it!"

"Are you done barricading the door yet?" Kyoya asked.

"Yeah," Tamaki pushed one last chair into place. "Now where's this fabled laundry chute?"

"Here," Mori said, opening a small square cabinet.

"How're we gonna fit down there?" Kaoru asked, aiming his camera down the dark shaft.

"We go one at a time, moron," Kyoya replied.

"Okay, who wants to go down the creepy laundry chute tunnel first?" Hikaru asked.

"Me! Pick me!" Honey exclaimed. "I've always wanted to slide down a laundry chute tunnel."

"All right then, Honey-sempai goes first," Tamaki said. "Yell if it's all clear."

"Okay, here it goes!" Honey launched himself down the chute. "Whoo-hoo!"

Honey's laughter echoed eerily down the shaft only to be interrupted by a dull clang.

"Uh, guys," Honey's voice traveled back up the chute. "We've got a problem."

"What, are there more zombies down there?" Tamaki asked.

"No, I'm stuck."

"How did you get stuck?" Hikaru asked. "You're like, tiny!"

"I was trying to do an epic triple somersault!"

No one wanted to know what that was.

"And another wrench is thrown into our epic plans," Kaoru sighed. "How're we gonna get him outta there?"

"Well, the simplest way is to send someone else down to push him out," Haruhi said.

"Any volunteers?" Kyoya asked.

Everyone turned to Mori, he sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he muttered, thrusting his shovel into Kyoya's hands. "Hold this. Mitsukuni, I'm coming down."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Takashi," Honey replied, voice quivering.

CRACK!

The zombies started pushing through the barricade.

"Too bad," Mori jumped down the chute.

"No Takashi! Don't—Augh!

The two rattled the rest of the way down the shaft.

"All clear," Mori shouted. "Don't forget to send down my shovel."

"Shovel coming down," Kyoya said.

CRACK! CRACK!

"Hurry!" Tamaki panicked. "They're breaking through!"

"Haruhi, go!" Hikaru snapped, pushing her in. "Bro, you're next!"

"I've gotta get this footage," Kaoru replied. "I'll go last, you go."

Hikaru looked like he was about to protest, but thought twice and disappeared down the chute. Kyoya went down next, followed by Tamaki. Kaoru kept his camera on the zombies breaking through the door a few moments longer.

"Hasta la vista, zombies!" he grinned before jumping down the laundry chute.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Kaoru tumbled down the pitch black shaft, clutching his camera protectively. Suddenly, he went flying out of the chute and into a huge bin of dirty towels. However, after feeling around for his two by four, he realized that he wasn't sitting on a mound of towels.

"Uh, Hikaru," Kaoru said. "I can't tell if I'm grabbing your face or your ass."

"First of all, I'm not Hikaru," Kyoya lifted his head and fixed Kaoru in a death glare. "And that's _my_ ass you're grabbing!"

"Ahhhh!" Kaoru scrambled away. "Sorry Kyoya!"

"Dude, I think I just touched Haruhi's—AWW!" Hikaru's face contorted in pain. "You had to hit me there, didn't you?"

Haruhi sat up, slapping her crowbar against her palm, "If you ever grope me like that again I will sic Tamaki and his chainsaw on you."

"You did _what_ to my girlfriend!"

Tamaki slowly rose out of the towel pile. He would've looked incredibly menacing if not for the laundry sack on his head.

"You touch her again you demon ginger, and I—can't see anything!" Tamaki said, looking around. "And what's this thing on my head?"

"Oh my god, it's Dr. Salvador!" Kaoru exclaimed. "Cower in terror!"

"Someone's been playing _Resident Evil_ again," Kyoya sighed. "Now someone either get that sack off Tamaki's head or get that chainsaw away from him!"

"I volunteer Haru-chan to do it!" Honey piped up.

"Tamaki, stop moving!" Haruhi snapped. "Just hold still, I'm gonna get the sack off your head."

"Okay," Tamaki immediately obeyed and Haruhi got the sack off his head.

"Guys, we've got trouble," Mori said, hefting his shovel. "Zombie janitors."

"Holy freaking crap on a stick with a side of potatoes!" Hikaru said. "I always knew there was something wrong with the janitors here!"

Six zombie janitors shuffled towards them, moaning, just as _Thriller_ by Michael Jackson blasted over the airways.

"For once, a song that works!" Tamaki crowed, decapitating one of the zombies.

"Don't blame me, it's on shuffle!" Hikaru shot back, chopping off a zombie's hand before splitting its head.

"Now here's some music I can appreciate!" Kyoya grinned.

"You like Michael Jackson?" Haruhi asked, knocking a zombie's head off with her crowbar.

"His new stuff sucked," Kyoya replied. "But in his prime, he was brilliant."

They finished off the janitor zombies in no time at all.

"Where to from here?" Tamaki asked.

"Up the stairs, that should bring us close to the gyms," Kyoya said.

"Right, then let's move out."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

By the time everyone realized that going to the gym was a bad idea, it was too late to change the plans.

"How many zombies are in this joint?" Hikaru asked, bashing one's skull in with the flat of his hatchet.

"I don't even wanna know," Haruhi said, ducking under another zombie's flailing arms. "But there are too many!"

The zombies had surrounded tham in the center of one of the gyms, cutting off any way of escape.

"It looks like this is the end," Tamaki said, voice cracking. "You know, I always though gym class would be the death of me, just not in this way."

"Don't give up hope yet Tama-chan!" Honey exclaimed, whacking a zombie's legs out from under it. "We can still get out of here!"

Then _Caramelldansen_ started to play. Everyone froze.

"What the hell kind of background music is this?" Tamaki asked.

"I have no control of it!" Hikaru shouted. "It's on shuffle!"

"Tamaki duck!" Mori yelled.

Tamaki dropped to his knees and skidded a little as Mori's shovel passed over his head. Then an idea came to him.

"Honey-sempai!" Tamaki called. "You know how Hikaru called you weed whacker for kneecaps on the way here?"

"Yeah, so?" Honey asked.

"We're gonna make a path outta here weed whacker style!" Tamaki said. "The rest of you, cover our backs and make sure we don't get closed in."

"Got it!" Haruhi answered.

Honey swung his nunchucks over his head like a helicopter blade while Tamaki took a running start, dropped to his knees and skidded across the floor, chopping off zombies' legs as he went. Haruhi charged into the gap with a yell, whaling zombies with her crowbar like a madwoman.

"Go Haruhi," Kaoru grinned, rushing after her.

"Dude, did the boss just do _The Matrix_?" Hikaru asked.

"I think so," Kyoya said.

"Kaoru! You got that on film, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good, cuz I don't think I'd believe I saw it if you hadn't."

They escaped the gym with no further trouble.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"I'm hungrrryyy!" Honey whined as they stumbled into the chem. labs. "I want cake."

It was about four in the afternoon and the Host Club realized they'd hardly eaten anything all day.

"Well, the cafeteria is just around the corner," Tamaki said. "We should do a raid."

"At least two of us need to stay behind in case any zombies show up," Haruhi added.

"Mori and I will handle that," Kyoya spoke up. "The rest of you can go."

"Anything you want us to bring back?" Honey asked.

"If there's any of that Pad Thai left over from yesterday I'll take it," Kyoya said. "Extra spicy."

"Mongolian Beef," Mori grunted.

"You got it," Hikaru said as he walked out. "We're like your own personal Burger King, you'll have it your way."

"That's what she said," Kaoru muttered.

"Good one bro."

"Thanks."

"Finally," Haruhi huffed as they headed down the hall to the cafeteria. "A hallway that's not crammed with zombies!"

Tamaki chuckled and took her hand, "I thought you enjoyed whaling on them with that crowbar of yours."

"Well, it is kinda fun to get revenge on all those fangirls that liked to get a little too cozy with _my_ boyfriend," Haruhi said.

"Why Haruhi!" Tamaki looked incredulous. "I didn't know you had such a jealous streak in you."

"He guys, cut the goo-goo eyes," Kaoru said. "There's a zombie up ahead, I can't tell if there are any more or not."

"I'll handle this," Tamaki revved his chainsaw and strode towards the zombie.

"Is it just me, or is the boss getting more badass by the hour?" Hikaru asked.

"I think you could be right," Kaoru nodded as the _Numa Numa _song came over the loudspeakers.

"Hiya!" Tamaki shouted, chopping off the zombie's head. "STARLIGHT KICK!"

He kicked the zombie's head out the window.

"Not so tough without your head are you, bitch?" Tamaki jeered, shutting off his chainsaw. "I don't see any more, I think we're all clear."

"His badassery levels are definitely rising," Kaoru said as they entered the cafeteria.

"I wonder what's causing it," Hikaru said. "I mean, this is the guy who couldn't be badass to save his soul a week ago. Heck, I don't even think he knew what badass was."

"I know what Tama-chan's turned BA," Honey piped up.

"And why is that?" Hikaru asked.

"Haru-chan," Honey replied. "If you haven't noticed, he's always acted more mature around her. Now that they're dating and he's with her more often, it's grown him up."

"So he's acting different for his girlfriend, huh?" Hikaru snorted. "Bad move."

"Actually, it's just the opposite," Haruhi cut in. "He's way more mature even when I'm not around, just ask Kyoya. He's a much better actor than most give him credit for."

"You mean his whole idiotic king of the Host Club routine is just an _act_!" the twins chorused. "It's not his actual personality?"

"Yeah, he practices his act on you guys, didn't you know that?"

The twins could not reply.

"Hey Haruhi!" Tamaki called. "They have chicken and biscuits in here!"

"They do?" Haruhi asked. "Sweet! Have they got any more fancy tuna?"

"I'll check. You guys can help ya know."

As the twins started to help look for food, they saw Tamaki in a brand new light.

"I can finally understand why Haruhi's attracted to him," Hikaru sighed. "He's probably the smartest out of all of us, and we were too dense to realize it."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

They didn't have any more troubles with zombies for the entire raid.

"You're back earlier than expected," Kyoya said as they returned to the lab. "No zombie trouble, I take it."

"Nothing," Tamaki shook his head. "How about you guys?"

"None," Mori grunted.

"Maybe we'll have a quiet night," Kaoru said hopefully.

"Not with those two in the same room," Hikaru motioned to Tamaki and Haruhi.

"Shut your trap, Hikaru," Haruhi glared at the redhead.

"Takashi! I got cake!" Honey exclaimed, jumping on Mori's shoulders. "Wanna have some?"

"Did you find my Pad Thai?" Kyoya asked.

"Yeah, here," Tamaki handed him a box. "I also found you some Mongolian Beef, Mori-sempai."

"Good."

They ate in relative quiet. When Tamaki finished, he found Haruhi sitting by the window, watching a crowd of zombies milling outside the school.

"How're you doing?" he asked, sitting beside her.

"I keep thinking that I'll see a zombie with my father's face," Haruhi whispered. "I tried calling him with Kyoya's cell, but he wouldn't pick up."

"Come here," Tamaki slipped his arms around her and held her close.

Tamaki hadn't thought too much about his immediate family during the zombie attack. But since his grandmother had become a zombie, odds were that his father was one too. A cold weight descended to the pit of his stomach. If that was the case, the only family he'd have left would be his mother and he didn't even know where she was. What would become of the Suoh Company? Tamaki knew that he'd have to take over, but there was no way in hell he was ready now.

Haruhi started to tremble in his arms and he felt warm tears soak his shirt. Tamaki tightened his arms around her protectively, leaning his cheek against her hair.

"Easy, love," Tamaki whispered. "Easy."

Haruhi whimpered and pressed closer to him, stifling her sobs in the folds of his shirt.

"Shh, hush now," Tamaki stroked her hair. "I'm here."

Haruhi cried for a few moments more before calming down. She took a couple of deep breaths and looked up at Tamaki.

"Thanks again," Haruhi said, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry I keep crying all over you."

"This is a rough time for all of us," Tamaki replied. "If you didn't cry at least once, I'd think there was something wrong with you."

"Thank you," Haruhi kissed his cheek.

Tamaki pulled her close again and kissed her lips. Haruhi tangled her fingers into Tamaki's hair, just as _Untouched_ by the Veronicas came on. Tamaki's hands started to roam over Haruhi's back as he deepened the kiss.

"You can start removing each other's clothes anytime now."

They immediately pulled away to see Hikaru with a smirk on his face and Kaoru aiming his camera at them like a weapon.

"What the hell are you doing?" Tamaki growled, looking incredibly dangerous.

"What'd you stop for?" Kaoru asked. "Come on, you can't have an action movie without a little sex!"

"Go…away…now," Haruhi said slowly, eyes shooting daggers.

"Please, we've always wanted to make a porno!" Hikaru protested.

Tamaki made a grab for his chainsaw and the twins ran away screaming.

"Sorry about that," Tamaki said.

"I'm used to it by now," Haruhi shrugged.

"I don't know if that's good or bad."

"Could be both."

With that, Haruhi slipped her arms around Tamaki's neck and kissed him as _OMG_ by Usher started to play.

**End of Part 1**

**Tadaa! Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget the reviews!**


	2. The Host Club vs the Zombies Part 2

**Happy belated Halloween everyone! I was hoping to have this up yesterday but I was swamped by college entrance stuff and homework, so you're Halloween present is coming just a day late. Sorry about that, anyway, here is the conclusion to the first episode in the Ouran Supernaturals series! Read and review peeps!**

**Summary: The zombies have completely swamped the school and Tamaki makes a new friend. Will that be enough to get them out alive?**

**The Host Club vs. the Zombies Part 2**

"What the hell is that?"

"I think it's a dog, but I really can't tell."

Tamaki opened one eye. Haruhi was still asleep beside him and the twins were crowding something in a corner.

"What're you doing?" Tamaki asked, rolling over.

"Hey, boss, do you think this is a dog?" Hikaru called.

"What?" Tamaki stood and walked over.

"Do you think this is a dog?" Hikaru repeated. "Because I'm really at a loss here."

"It's really weird looking," Kaoru added.

Tamaki looked into the corner to see the ugliest Chihuahua he'd ever seen cowering in a ball.

"It's a Chihuahua," Tamaki said.

"Are you sure?" Kaoru asked.

"Positive."

"That is the most messed up Chihuahua I have ever seen," Hikaru crossed his arms.

"Well, the fact you're scaring the poor thing to death isn't helping its looks," Tamaki said. "Back off and give him some room."

The twins backed up a few feet and Tamaki crouched in front of the corner.

"Hey little guy," he said softly, extending a hand to the trembling animal. "Come on out, come on. I'm not gonna hurt you."

The Chihuahua inched towards Tamaki's outstretched hand and cautiously sniffed it.

"Good boy," Tamaki grinned. "Come on."

The Chihuahua wriggled out of the corner and licked Tamaki's hand, wagging its scraggly tail.

"Poor little guy," Tamaki scratched the Chihuahua's bat like ears. "His owners are probably zombies now."

"Tamaki? What are you doing?" Haruhi sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Look at what we found," Tamaki said, picking up the Chihuahua and bringing it over.

"That a Chihuahua?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah, I know he's not the cutest, but he's really friendly," Tamaki replied. "I think his owners are zombies."

"Poor thing," Haruhi rubbed the Chihuahua's scraggy head. "Does he have a name?"

"There's no tag on him," Tamaki said. "From this moment on, his name will be Johnny."

"Johnny?" the twins chorused. "Why Johnny?"

"Cuz it's a good name," Tamaki shrugged. "It suits him."

Johnny barked in agreement.

"Oh cool!" Honey exclaimed, bounding over. "A puppy!"

"How did that dog get in?" Kyoya asked.

"The zombies broke down all the doors, duh," Hikaru said as _Stacy's Mom has Got it Going On_ by Fountans of Wayne started playing.

Kyoya adjusted his glasses with an extended middle finger.

"Has your iPod been going all night?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah," Hikaru said.

"Does this mean it'll run out of batteries?" Tamaki asked hopefully.

"No, I plugged it into the wall to make sure that doesn't happen," Hikaru assured.

Everyone groaned. Then Johnny started to bark and Mori hefted his shovel.

"We've got trouble," he growled.

Tamaki revved his chainsaw and everyone else readied their weapons and Johnny continued to bark. A pair of zombies shuffled in, staring vacantly at the group assembled in the middle of the room. Suddenly, Johnny shot across the gap, took a flying leap, and sank his sharp little teeth into one of the zombie's throats. He twisted around, tearing out a chunk of its jugular. Blood sprayed from the wound and Johnny attacked the other zombie in similar fashion. Every jaw in the Host Club hit the floor.

"What the hell just happened?" Kyoya asked.

"Did Kyo-chan just ask a question?" Honey asked Mori.

"Okay, it's official, that thing is demon possessed!" Hikaru pointed an accusing finger at the Chihuahua. "There is absolutely no doubt in my mind."

"Good boy, Johnny!" Tamaki exclaimed. "Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Give daddy a kiss!"

"I think you should get away from that thing boss," Kaoru said. "If it's demon possessed we don't want you to catch it."

"Pay no attention to the mean little gingers," Tamaki scratched Johnny's back. "You're such a good boy!"

"Guys, I think we should move," Haruhi said, looking out the door. "We have a crapload of zombies heading this way."

"Where do they keep coming from?" Honey asked.

"No idea," Mori grunted.

"Quick, make for the teachers' lounge!" Tamaki said.

"The teachers' lounge?" Hikaru asked. "Why the teacher's lounge?"

"Because I've always wanted to go in there," Tamaki replied. "Also, my dad said it has a back door that leads to the chem. labs."

"But the teachers' lounge?" Hikaru asked again.

"No time to argue," Kyoya cut in. "We have to move now. They're coming!"

"Quick, to the teachers' lounge!" Tamaki exclaimed, revving his chainsaw. "Come on Johnny."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

They all ran out of the lab and down the hall to the teachers' lounge. Kaoru started running backwards to get some good shots of the oncoming zombies. Mori grabbed him by the collar and started to drag him when he fell behind.

"In here," Tamaki opened the door and ushered them inside.

The teachers' lounge looked like the sitting room of an ultra-swank penthouse.

"Holy freaking crap on a stick with a side of potatoes," Hikaru breathed, looking around. "And they complain about not getting paid enough! This place totally makes up for it."

"We have just infiltrated the secret sanctum of teachers!" Kaoru almost cackled with glee. "Now we'll finally be able to answer all those questions about what really goes down in here."

"Do you think they'll have cake here, Takashi?" Honey asked.

Mori shrugged with a noncommittal grunt.

"I think we'll be safe for awhile," Tamaki said, locking the door. "Is anyone else starving?"

Haruhi hadn't realized how hungry she actually was until Tamaki said something.

"Hey, I think I just found the fridge!" Hikaru called.

"Yes! Thank you Hikaru!" Tamaki rushed over. "Come on Johnny."

Haruhi followed Tamaki to where Hikaru stood in front of a massive, stainless steel monolith of a Frigidaire.

"Boss, would you like to do the honors?" Hikaru asked.

"I would love to," Tamaki said, throwing the door open.

No one could believe the food in the teachers' lounge refrigerator. There was everything from caviar to Belgian chocolates.

"Hey Haruhi!" Tamaki grinned. "Look what I found for you!"

"Fancy tuna!" she exclaimed. "Thank you Tamaki."

"You're welcome, love," Tamaki answered.

"You're eating that for breakfast?" Hikaru asked, slightly disgusted.

"Why not?" Haruhi shrugged. "Your brother's tearing into a BLT over there."

"Whoo, cold pizza!" Tamaki crowed, pulling out a plastic bag.

"I want some of that!" Hikaru said.

"Get your own," Tamaki answered. "This is mine."

"Why's there raw hamburger in here?" Honey asked.

Upon hearing the word "hamburger" Johnny pricked up his ears and wagged his skinny tail.

"Dunno," Tamaki said around a mouthful of pizza. "Give it to Johnny."

"Lemme find a bowl," Honey grabbed the hamburger out of the fridge.

Johnny trotted after him like a malformed shadow. Tamaki shook his head.

"I think he gets cuter the more you look at him," he said.

"Speak for yourself," Hikaru muttered around a mouthful of spaghetti. "That thing is still demon possessed no matter how you swing it."

"Mitsukini," Mori said. "I think I found cake."

"Cake!" Honey exclaimed, bounding away from where Johnny was hoovering raw hamburger. "What kind?"

"Not sure," Mori took the plastic wrapped plate out of the refrigerator. "Birthday?"

"Yay!"

"Dude, do you even know how old that is?" Hikaru spoke up. "It could've been sitting back there for, like, a month."

"So? It's cake!" Honey replied. "And cake is cake."

"You're still gonna eat that?" Hikaru looked disgusted.

"Why not?"

"Don't blame me when you barf."

Honey ignored him and attacked the cake with gusto. They ate in relative quiet while the loudspeakers blasted _Wild Thing_ by the Runaways.

"Is this the song from that baseball movie _Major League_?" Tamaki asked.

"Yeah," Hikaru replied.

"I love that movie," Tamaki said.

"Which movie?" Haruhi asked.

"_Major League_," Tamaki answered. "You mean I never showed you _Major League_?"

Haruhi shook her head.

"As soon as this whole zombie thing has died down, we are watching _Major League_," Tamaki said. "It's freakin' hilarious, you'd like it."

"Okay," Haruhi said.

Johnny finished his hamburger and hopped into Tamaki's lap.

"Did he just eat that entire pound of meat?" Kaoru asked, eyeing the Chihuahua warily.

"He was hungry," Tamaki answered. "Who knows when the last time he had a decent meal was?"

"How'd it all fit in there?" Hikaru asked. "That thing's a bag of bones."

"Geeze, Hikaru, lay off him," Haruhi came to the Chihuahua's defense. "He's just a dog."

Johnny barked his agreement from Tamaki's lap while Tamaki scratched his ears.

THUMP!

Everyone groaned.

"Not again," Kaoru sighed.

"Is it just me, or have they started finding us faster?" Hikaru asked.

THUMP!

"We're gonna need some more weaponry," Tamaki said as he refueled his chainsaw.

"Check in the refrigerator," Kyoya spoke up. "I thought I saw a few things that would work."

THUMP!

Everyone gathered in from of the fridge as Hikaru opened the door.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Hikaru grinned, reaching into the very back of the fridge.

He pulled out two big bottles of Absolut 100 proof vodka.

"Well, that explains a few things," Kyoya said, adjusting his glasses.

"There's more where that came from," Hikaru replied. "They've got six more full bottles, about twelve six packs of beer, and six bottles of champagne."

Then _Like a G6_ by Far East Movement started to play. Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi exchanged a glance.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Tamaki asked with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

"Molotov cocktails anyone?" Kaoru grinned.

"Find me a bottle opener and I'll serve them up," Haruhi said, taking a beer out of the fridge.

"Make one for me too, love," Tamaki added. "On the rocks."

THUMP!

"Think fast," Mori said, tossing Haruhi a bottle opener.

"Thanks Mori-sempai," Haruhi popped open the beer bottle. "Where do I dump the beer?"

Mori took the bottle and drained half of it. The Host Club's jaws dropped. Then Tamaki took the half empty bottle and drank the rest. Their jaws dropped lower.

"Fill 'er up, darling," Tamaki grinned, holding out the now empty bottle. "We've got company."

Haruhi filled the bottle with vodka.

"Give me a napkin," Tamaki ordered.

Honey gave him a paper napkin and Tamaki stuffed it in the top of the bottle.

"Got a light?"

"Catch," Kyoya threw him a lighter.

No one wanted to know why Kyoya had a lighter. Tamaki lit the napkin and held the cocktail up, poised to throw.

THUMP! THUMP! CRASH!

The zombies forced their way into the teachers' lounge. Tamaki hurled the Molotov cocktail and it exploded with a burst of flame, lighting the nearest zombie ablaze.

"Hope you're feelin' fly like a G6," Tamaki said. "Bitch."

"Bottoms up!" Hikaru shouted, throwing his cocktail.

More zombies burst into flames. Haruhi lit a cocktail and stood waiting.

"What are you waiting for?" Tamaki asked.

"A closer target," Haruhi replied. "I just saw my algebra teacher."

The zombie in question shambled closer and Haruhi launched the flaming cocktail. It arced gracefully and shattered on top of the zombie's head.

"Nice shot!" Tamaki high fived her. "Right in the face!"

"That's what you get for failing my project because I was absent!" Haruhi shouted.

"You tell him, Haruhi," Hikaru said, throwing another Molotov.

"Hey guys," Honey called. "We're running out of vodka!"

"Crap! We're gonna have to move on to champagne!" Kaoru shouted, throwing his last cocktail.

"Give me a bottle, NOW!" Kyoya roared.

"Here, Kyo-chan," Honey gave him one of the champagne bottles.

Kyoya snatched it from his hands and started to shake it wildly.

"Heads up!" Kyoya shouted, popping the cork off the champagne and spraying the zombies with it. "Tamaki! Finish them off! I'm getting more champagne."

"You got it!" Tamaki laughed, charging in with his chainsaw. "Sic 'em Johnny!"

The Chihuahua sprang into action, ripping open a zombie's throat before it could take another shuffling step. Tamaki started dismembering the remaining zombies while laughing like a madman.

"You know," Kaoru said. "I think the boss is enjoying himself just a little too much."

"Haruhi, your boyfriend is really starting to creep me out," Hikaru added.

"We're running out of ammo!" Haruhi yelled, pointedly ignoring Hikaru's remark.

"Looks like we're back to the old fashioned way," Kyoya drew his sword.

"What are you doing?" Mori asked Hikaru, who looked like he was holding his breath.

"Thinking angry thoughts," Hikaru replied in a strained voice. "Like kittens!"

"Oh no," Kyoya muttered. "Of all the times to make a _Red vs. Blue_ reference he has to pick _now_?"

"I am thinking about kittens covered in spikes! That makes me ANGRY!" Hikaru bellowed, rushing the zombies and swinging his axe in a wide arc. "My name is Hikaru Hitachiin, and I hate BABIES!"

"Someone's been watching too much Youtube," Kyoya said.

"Hey! Look at what I got!" Honey exclaimed, holding up a pair of black cans.

"Rockstar?" Mori asked.

"Honey-sempai, I'm not sure that's a good idea," Haruhi said.

But it was too late, Honey had already started to shake the cans. Then he sprayed the nearest zombies with Rockstar. The zombies stopped a moment and looked confused, licking the Rockstar off their lips with colorless tongues.

"Mmmmmm!" the zombies chorused.

They started to walk faster.

"Aaaah!" Honey shrieked. "They're moving faster!"

"What the hell did you _do_?" Hikaru demanded.

"They drank the Rockstar!"

"Oh crap!" Tamaki hissed. "Now we have mutants!"

"Stupid zombies!" Honey yelled.

"We're being overrun!" Kaoru shouted, braining a zombie with his two by four.

"Damn it!" Tamaki cursed. "Fall back! Get to the back door, into the chem. labs!"

"Tamaki!" Haruhi yelled. "A little help here?"

Tamaki whirled around to see his beloved Haruhi completely hemmed in by zombies. His vision turned red. He charged with a roar that no one believed a human could make. Tamaki mowed down the zombies attacking Haruhi like an out of control lawn mower.

"Thanks," Haruhi said.

"Don't mention it," Tamaki replied. "C'mon."

They hurried out of the teachers' lounge and into the chem. labs.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Once they'd finished barricading the back door, Haruhi sat down on the floor with a sigh.

"You alright, love?" Tamaki asked, sitting beside her. "None of the zombies got you, did they?"

"No, I'm okay," Haruhi answered. "This is just getting really old."

Tamaki draped an arm over her shoulders and pulled her close. Johnny barked and bounced into her lap.

"Don't get too comfortable," Kyoya said. "We have to keep moving, it won't be long before the zombies break through the barricade."

Tamaki stood and helped Haruhi to her feet.

"Want me to carry you?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," Haruhi replied. "You need to keep both hands on your chainsaw."

Then _Every Time We Touch_ by Cascada came on.

"You are not serious," Tamaki turned to Hikaru. "You have this song?"

"Cascada plays happy music! It makes me happy!" Hikaru shot back. "Don't diss it!"

"I'm not dissing!" Tamaki answered. "I like this song, it rocks on the piano. It's just really out of place right now."

"I have no control, it's on shuffle," Hikaru said.

"Found the storeroom," Mori spoke up.

"Chemical weaponry," Kaoru grinned, aiming his camera at the door. "Nice."

"Would you like to do the honors, Kyoya?" Tamaki asked.

"I would love to," Kyoya's glasses glinted, obscuring his eyes.

The black haired second year opened the door and stepped inside. He rummaged around for a few moments before coming out with a large gallon container marked HCl.

"Hydrochloric acid, anyone?" Kyoya asked with a grin.

"Now you're talkin'," Tamaki replied. "How much is in there?"

"At least twenty of these gallons," Kyoya said.

"What else have we got?" Haruhi asked.

"We've got sulfuric acid, magnesium, potassium, a few tanks of frozen nitrogen, and a few of pure propane," Kyoya answered.

"Perfect," Tamaki grinned as _Starstrukk_ by 3Oh!3 started to play. "I have an idea."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDC**

When the zombies broke through the makeshift barricade, nothing in the chem. labs seemed out of the ordinary. Then they saw the two redheads they'd been pursuing standing in front of an extremely large puddle. If zombies could think anything like humans, they would've known immediately that something was amiss, especially if they knew what the twins were saying.

"Hey, Hikaru," Kaoru said. "There are a bunch of zombies coming, don't you think we should run?"

"Nah," Hikaru replied. "I think we should just stand here and let them eat our brains."

"That's a good idea, brother!" Kaoru gave him a thumbs up.

"Dude, you sounded like Al from _FMA_ right there," Hikaru said.

"I did? Sweet, I love Al, he's awesome!"

"Al? Did someone say Al?" Tamaki asked. "That's my cousin's name."

"You have a cousin named Al?" Hikaru asked.

"Yeah, but we don't talk about that side of the family much," Tamaki said.

"The zombies are getting closer," Kaoru spoke up. "They're almost to the puddle."

"What a crazy random happenstance," Hikaru said. "I have a container of potassium."

"In America!" Tamaki added.

"We aren't in America, Tamaki," Haruhi sighed.

"I know," Tamaki assured. "But it doesn't sound right if you say "in Japan," it has to be America."

"Since I have this container of potassium," Hikaru went on. "I'm going to dump it in this big puddle, and see what happens!"

"That sounds amazing!" Kaoru said. "Do it!"

Hikaru immediately dumped the container of potassium into the water just as the zombies were beginning to cross. The potassium ignited, turning the puddle into a raging inferno. The zombies were burned to a crisp.

"Somebody call 911!" Kaoru sang as _Fire Burning_ by Sean Kingston blasted from the speakers. "Zombies fire burning on the dance floor!"

Kyoya rolled his eyes and Haruhi started to laugh.

"Get ready for the next wave," Mori said.

The potassium burned up and the puddle when back to being a puddle. The zombies that hadn't tried to cross started to shamble towards them. Hikaru and Kaoru backed up behind Tamaki and Mori, who were carrying twin tanks of frozen nitrogen.

"Come to papa," Tamaki growled.

"Wait for it," Mori chided.

"I'm waiting."

"Wait for it."

The two boys waited, muscles taut as the zombies advanced. When they got close enough, Mori nodded.

"Now," he said.

"YAAAAAAAAAH!" Tamaki and Mori bellowed, opening the spigots at the top of the tanks and spraying the zombies with frozen nitrogen.

The zombies halted as their skin and limbs began to freeze.

"Finish them off guys," Tamaki said.

"Now!" Kyoya shouted, opening a gallon of hydrochloric acid.

Haruhi and Honey followed suit, splashing the zombies with it. A horrid sizzle cut through the background music as the zombies' flesh was eaten away, leaving only the skeletons.

"Why couldn't we have labs like this is chemistry?" Hikaru asked, picking up a gallon of HCl and dousing the nearest zombie with it.

"I know right?" Kaoru replied. "If we'd had labs like this I might've actually paid attention."

Mori and Tamaki picked up the next set of frozen nitrogen tanks and continued freezing zombies.

"How're our acid stores holding up?" Tamaki asked.

"We're only halfway through them," Haruhi answered. "How's the nitrogen?"

"Two more tanks left," Mori said.

"We're gonna have to move onto the propane next," Kyoya said as _Cotton Eye Joe_ by Rednex started to play.

"Goody," Tamaki grinned dementedly.

"We just ran out HCl," Honey announced. "I'm grabbing the sulfuric!"

"Gotcha," Kaoru said. "Hikaru! Grab the propane! Mori-sempai and the boss are gonna need it soon!"

"Right!" Hikaru ran off to get the propane tanks. "Here!"

Mori took the first tank of propane and opened the top.

"Lighter," he said.

Tamaki clicked the lighter on and chuckled before holding it up to the open top of the tank. As soon as the lighter was close enough, the tiny flame erupted into a gigantic fireball. Mori aimed the tank at the zombies and watched as any within a five yard radius were incinerated.

"WHOOOOO!" Tamaki shouted. "That's what I'm talkin' about!"

"Get me another tank!" Mori bellowed. "The flame's devouring it!"

"Coming right up!" Hikaru answered.

By the time they'd used up all the propane, the Host Club realized two things. One, the zombies were still coming. Two, the wall was on fire, and the floor was so full of holes from the acid that it was beginning to crumble.

"Something tells me we should get out of here," Tamaki said.

"That's the best idea you've had all day," Kyoya replied.

"Hurry," Haruhi added. "I'm not sure how long this room is going to hold up!"

CRACK! CRUNCH!

Cracks were beginning to form in the ceiling and the walls. The floor lurched dangerously beneath them.

"Oh no!" Honey shouted. "I have to grab Usa-chan!"

Honey immediately turned around and rushed back. Mori made a move to go after him.

"I'll get him!" Hikaru yelled. "I'm closer! Get everyone else out! Don't even think about following me Kaoru!"

"Hikaru!" Kaoru shouted.

"You've gotta be freaking kidding me!" Tamaki snarled. "The place is gonna blow!"

Mori grabbed Kaoru by the collar and dragged him out, keeping him from following his brother. Tamaki turned and started to run back to where he'd seen Hikaru and Honey go. Haruhi latched her arms around his waist.

"No! I'm not losing you too!" she screamed.

"We've gotta get 'em outta there!" Tamaki roared.

"Wait, I see them!" Kaoru shouted. "I see them! They're coming!"

Sure enough, Hikaru was making his way through the smoke with Honey clinging to his back for dear life.

"Come on! Hurry!" Kyoya bellowed.

Suddenly, a horrible groan emanated from the lab. The room was collapsing!

"Hurry up! It's coming down!" Tamaki yelled.

"Tamaki! Get back!" Haruhi shouted. "The ceiling!"

Tamaki looked up to see the ceiling was beginning to crumble. Before he could warn Hikaru and Honey, a chunk of wood fell and hit him at the base of his skull. Tamaki crumpled to the ground in a heap.

"TAMAKI!" Haruhi screamed.

"Get back!" Mori shouted, scooping up Tamaki's prone form.

Then the room collapsed, sealing Hikaru and Honey inside.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"Aw shit!" Hikaru hissed as he saw the piece of wood hit Tamaki.

He knew that they would never be able to get out before the whole thing collapsed. Hikaru looked around desperately for a way out. There had to be something. Then he saw it, the elevator. Hikaru rushed towards it just as the ceiling began to collapse.

"Come on dammit!" he growled. "You have to make it!"

Debris crashed to the ground all around him, some narrowly missing him. With a roar, Hikaru launched himself into the elevator and closed the door.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Tamaki was dimly aware of something stroking his face. He groaned and his eyes fluttered open. He had a massive headache and he found it difficult to discern what he was seeing.

"He's alive!" Kaoru's voice exclaimed. "We thought we'd lost you for a minute there, boss!"

Tamaki's eyes began to focus. He was looking at Haruhi's extremely worried face. Her brown eyes were glistening with tears and she looked terribly pale.

"Haruhi," Tamaki rasped.

"Don't ever scare me like that again!" Haruhi said, voice trembling. "I thought you were gonna die!"

Then she kissed him fiercely. Tamaki pushed himself into a sitting position and looked around. Kyoya was cleaning his glasses, Mori was staring forlornly at the collapsed chem. lab, Johnny was sniffing around in front of the elevator, and Kaoru and Haruhi were gathered around him.

"Where're Hikaru and Honey-sempai?" Tamaki asked.

Kaoru's face fell and his lower lip quivered. "They didn't get out."

"What?" Tamaki asked.

He couldn't have heard right. They had to have gotten out, they couldn't still be in there.

"We lost sight of them after you went down," Kaoru went on. "We don't know what happened."

"FUCK!" Tamaki roared, leaping to his feet.

He stalked around in circles like an enraged lion, cussing to high heaven. Tamaki ran over to the elevator, scaring Johnny away in the process, and kicked the door as hard as he could.

"Dammit," he growled, sinking to the floor. "Why? Why did this have to happen?"

Then something knocked on the elevator door. Tamaki stopped moving and held his breath. Had he heard what he thought he heard? The knock came again.

"Boss?" Hikaru's muffled voice came from behind the elevator door. "You out there?"

"Hikaru?" Tamaki asked. "You're alive?"

"Duh," Hikaru replied. "If I wasn't, I wouldn't be talking to you."

"I heard you drop the F-bomb Tama-chan," Honey said. "That was naughty, you should wash your mouth out with soap!"

"Guys!" Tamaki shouted to the others. "I know what happened to Hikaru and Honey-sempai! They're in the elevator!"

"The elevator?" Kaoru rushed over. "You in there bro?"

"Yeah," Hikaru answered.

"Can you get out?" Kaoru asked.

"No," Hikaru said. "The blast must've short circuited the panel."

"Hm, we need to find the control panel," Tamaki said. "If we can put it into manual override we might be able to open it."

"The elevator controls are on the top floor," Kyoya replied. "If we can get up there we might be able to get them out. If not, we might at least be able to get help. The communications room is there as well."

"Guys," Tamaki called into the elevator. "We're going to the control room. Don't worry, we're gonna get you outta there."

"Hang tight," Mori said.

"No worries," Hikaru said. "Just be careful, we'll be waiting."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

Hikaru sighed heavily and leaned against the elevator wall. Now they were really stuck. Their only hope was that the others could get to the elevator control room, otherwise they'd be trapped there until they starved, or dehydrated, whichever came first.

"What do we do now, Hika-cha?" Honey asked.

"There's only one thing we can do," Hikaru sighed.

"What's that?"

"Record." Hikaru turned on the camera on his cell phone.

Honey groaned and hid his face against Usa-chan. Then _Eye of the Tiger_ by Survivor blasted from the speakers.

"What?" Hikaru exclaimed. "Come on! Why does the good music have to come on now? This sucks."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDC**

_Eye of the Tiger_ was echoing through the hallways of Ouran as the remaining members of the Host Club trooped towards the main staircase.

"Now _this_ is what I'm talkin' about," Tamaki grinned. "Finally, some half decent zombie killing music."

Johnny barked in agreement as he trotted beside his master.

"Zombies ahead," Haruhi said. "Let's take 'em."

"My bloodthirsty little darling!" Tamaki replied, revving his chainsaw. "Let's go!"

"I wish Hikaru was here to see this!" Kaoru said. "This one's for you bro!"

With that, Kaoru rushed ahead and took out two zombies with his two by four, letting out a blood-chilling war whoop. Kyoya drew his sword and decapitated a zombie with one swing before spinning and dealing with another in similar fashion. Mori twirled his shovel like a staff and bashed three zombies' skulls with a deadly precision. Tamaki and Haruhi fought in a team, watching each other's backs. Johnny attacked the zombies like a demon, ripping open their throats and getting coated with their blood in the process. They fought their way up the main staircase.

"Which way?" Tamaki asked once they'd arrived at the top.

"Go left," Kyoya replied. "It should be down at the end of the hall."

"Let's go," Kaoru said. "And hope this works."

Then _Jump On It_ by the Sugarhill Gang came on.

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"Honey-sempai, seriously," Hikaru said. "Quit doing that annoying dance! I know it goes with the song, but still."

"But I'm boooored!" Honey whined, galloping around in a circle while twirling his nunchucks over his head. "There's nothing to do!"

Hikaru sighed heavily.

"I hate this!" the redhead fumed. "Everyone else is out there kicking zombie ass and I'm stuck in a freaking elevator with you!"

"Ass is a naughty work, Hika-chan," Honey chided.

"GAAAAH!"

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"I think going to the control room was a bad idea," Haruhi said, bashing a zombie's face in with her crowbar.

"Ah, the joys of hindsight," Kyoya sighed, stabbing a zombie in the forehead.

"We can't even get down the hallway," Kaoru added as he smacked a zombie with his camcorder. "How're we gonna get outta here?"

"Window," Mori broke the nearest window with his shovel. "It leads to the roof."

"I'll hold them off!" Tamaki growled, stabbing a zombie in the chest with his chainsaw. "You guys get out, I'll be right behind you."

Haruhi was about to protest when Mori grabbed her arm and pulled her out the shattered window.

"Don't do anything too stupid," Kyoya said.

"Just move, I'm right behind you," Tamaki replied.

He faced the zombies again and bared his teeth in a snarl.

"Come on, follow me," Tamaki hissed. "I dare you."

He turned and jumped out the window, followed by Johnny.

"Are you all okay?" Haruhi asked.

"We're fine," Kyoya said. "We'd better move, they're coming through the window now."

Johnny barked and growled at the oncoming zombies. The Host Club started to run across the roof in the opposite direction.

"Oh shit," Kyoya's eyes went wide.

They stopped dead. A huge group of zombies was already on the roof ahead of them, completely cutting off their escape. _Zombies Everywhere_ by Karate High School blasted from the speakers.

"What now boss?" Kaoru asked with a quavering voice.

Tamaki shook his head and glanced at Haruhi. "There's nothing we can do, we're trapped."

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"Ninety-nine bottles of chocolate milk on the wall," Honey sang. "Ninety-nine bottles of chocolate milk. You take one down and pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of chocolate milk on the wall."

"If I killed you right now, would I go to hell?" Hikaru asked. "Because that song is pissing me off."

"I only just started singing it, Hika-chan," Honey replied. "And yes, you would go to hell if you killed me."

"Dammit!" Hikaru cursed.

"Ninety-eight bottles of chocolate milk on the wall—"

"GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

**CDCDCDCDCDCDCDCD**

"Well, everyone, it's been a great run," Tamaki said as the zombies closed in on them from all sides. "Haruhi, I love you."

"I love you too," Haruhi whispered.

Then he kissed her deeply and passionately.

"It's been great knowing you guys," Tamaki went on. "I'm honored to be considered your friend."

"The honor's returned," Kyoya replied.

"Yeah, boss," Kaoru added.

Mori nodded. "Yeah."

"If we're gonna go out," Tamaki said. "Let's go out with a bang. And we will let these zombies know that this…is…OURAN!"

Everyone groaned.

"You know, I really liked your speech until you said that," Kaoru said.

Mori grunted and nodded.

"It seems that Hikaru isn't the only one that needs to be cured of a Youtube addiction," Kyoya sighed.

"You know what, I'm kind of under a bit of pressure at the moment so I'm sorry if I wasn't original enough for you!" Tamaki spat.

"Uh, guys," Haruhi said. "The zombies are, you know, getting closer. So I think we should do something."

"Right," Tamaki nodded, then he exchanged a glance with the others. "YAAAAAAAAH!"

They all charged forward, letting loose their battle cries.

"If anyone finds this tape," Kaoru said into the camera as he ran. "Please, tell my parents and my brother Hikaru that I love them and please put this on Youtube, the world needs to know how bravely we fought."

Tamaki reached the zombies first, dismembering them with his chainsaw while cussing them out at the same time. Haruhi's language rivaled Tamaki's as she beat them with her crowbar. The others were silent as they fought for their lives on the roof of Ouran High. Then a sound reached their ears, the slow rhythmic thump of helicopter blades.

"Is that what I think it is?" Kaoru asked, looking up.

Sure enough, a big black helicopter with Ooteri logo painted on the side swooped into view. It was flying low meaning it had seen them.

"Guys!" Kaoru shouted. "They found us! Someone found us! We're gonna be rescued."

The others looked up to see the helicopter hovering above them. The side door opened and a ladder was lowered down.

"Grab hold!" chairman Yuzuru Suoh shouted, sticking his head out the door.

"Dad!" Tamaki exclaimed.

"Hurry up!" Ranka Fujioka yelled, joining the chairman. "We can't leave my little girl down there any longer!"

"Daddy!" Haruhi squealed.

She immediately latched onto the ladder and climbed up faster than she ever had before into her father's waiting arms. Kyoya and Kaoru followed.

"Come on Johnny," Tamaki said.

The Chihuahua obediently hopped into his arms and Tamaki scaled the ladder into the helicopter.

"Thank heavens you're alright!" chairman Suoh exclaimed, grabbing his only son in tight hug.

"I'm fine, dad," Tamaki answered, returning the embrace. "I thought they got you."

"Not me," the chairman assured. "I got a hold of the cook's meat cleaver. You look like you've done well with your choice of weapon."

Tamaki grinned and fingered his chainsaw.

"I do have some bad news though," the chairman went on. "Your grandmother unfortunately became a zombie and wandered away. I don't know what happened to her."

"Oh, that's too bad," Tamaki said with a wicked gleam in his violet eyes. "I'm very sorry to hear that."

"You wouldn't happen to know what's become of her, do you?" the chairman gave him a hard look.

"_Moi_?" Tamaki asked. "How could I possibly know that?"

Haruhi let out a snort and shook her head, Tamaki winked at her. Johnny barked.

"What's this?" the chairman asked.

"This is Johnny," Tamaki replied. "He's my new dog, he's very friendly, and he kills zombies."

"It's true," Kaoru said. "I caught it on film."

The chairman cocked an eyebrow but didn't say anything else.

"Wait a sec," Ranka said. "There are only five of you here, aren't there supposed to be seven members of the Host Club?"

"Oh my god!" Kaoru gasped. "We forgot Hikaru and Honey-sempai!"

"Aw, shit," Tamaki groaned.

**The End**

**Don't forget the reviews! Next Episode: Whacked Out Wednesday Be awesome and check it out!**


	3. Whacked Out Wednesday

**Holy cow it has been forever since I last updated! I am so sorry guys but I have been chronically strapped for time for the past few months! Between 3 AP classes, a new job, getting accepted at my dream college, and my novel, I haven't had any time for my beloved fanfics. But I have returned now at last, so I haven't forgotten about any of you! Although this story has been out of sight for some time it has never been out of mind. Without further ado, I present you the next episode in "The Ouran Supernaturals" series! Hopefully I won't take nearly as long on part two! Read and review my reader peeps!**

**Summary: A strange spell causes all the hosts to switch bodies! How on earth will they be able to survive a day as each other?**

**Whacked-Out Wednesday**

By the time Hikaru and Honey forgave the others for almost leaving them behind in an elevator during the zombie attack, everything was almost back to normal. Most of the students had already been home when the virus hit, so there weren't nearly as many student casualties as originally believed. School commenced as usual a little over a week later. There were significantly less Host Club fangirls at the beginning, but all that soon changed once Hikaru and Kaoru's Youtube movie, _The Host Club vs. the Zombies_ went viral.

"Hey guys, check this out!" Kaoru exclaimed, looking up from Kyoya's laptop. "_The Host Club vs. the Zombies_ has only been out one week and it's already got over a million hits!"

"Get out!" Tamaki hurried over. "Over a million?"

"Hell yeah!" Hikaru did a little victory dance. "How many comments?"

"Over five thousand," Kaoru answered. "Everyone wants to know if we're professionals and how we made the zombies looks so real."

"Hey boss," Hikaru said. "Check out this comment, _Tamaki and Haruhi r so CUUUTE! R they bf & gf 4 real?_"

"Of course we are!" Tamaki grinned, looping an arm around Haruhi's slender waist and pulling her close.

Haruhi was insanely glad that none of the customers had shown up yet. Most of them had already figured out she was really a girl from the movie, but Haruhi had never been a public display of affection kind of girl anyways.

"Hey Mori-sempai," Kaoru said. "Gooberhimer wants to know if you're a male model."

Mori's eyes went wide and he flushed slightly. Honey laughed and Kyoya checked the clock.

"Everyone into position," the bespectacled second year ordered. "The doors will open any second."

"Kiss for luck?" Tamaki asked, giving Haruhi his best heartbreaker smile.

"Fine," Haruhi stood on her toes and kissed her boyfriend's lips.

"Whoo!" Tamaki whooped. "Let's do this!"

"Tamaki you dork," Haruhi said, shaking her head.

The guests started to file in.

* * *

Mariko Suzimya watched the activities of the Host Club with a look of pure contempt. She hated them with a deep and burning passion. Ever since those twins had broken her heart in eighth grade with a fake love letter, she'd hated everything they stood for. They were all the same, lying, cheating, heartbreakers.

"It's time to learn the consequences of your lies!" Mariko hissed.

She pulled her talisman out of her pocket and started chanting a curse.

* * *

"So, Haruhi-kun, how did the psych test this morning go?" one of the customers asked.

"It was alright," Haruhi shrugged, then raised her voice. "It would've gone a lot better if Hikaru hadn't been trying to look at my answers the whole time."

"I was not!" Hikaru shot back.

"Yes you were," Kaoru sighed. "And you know it. Anyways, I'm getting more coffee, I'll be back in a few."

As soon as he'd left, Honey let out a pained screech and pressed his hands to his forehead.

"Mitsukuni," Mori rushed to his side. "What is it?"

"It hurts," Honey whimpered. "Make it stop."

Then Kyoya went rigid and made a hissing sound, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Kyoya, what the—aw SHIT!" Hikaru cursed, slapping a hand to his temple. "Holy crap that hurts!"

Haruhi was about to ask what was wrong when a searing pain ripped through her skull. It felt like someone was splitting her head open with an axe or bashing her in the forehead with a brick. She let out a shocked cry and doubled over.

"Haruhi!" Tamaki shouted, leaping to his feet.

Before he could get to her, the headache came. Tamaki's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed to the ground in a heap. Then Mori's eyes went wide and he dropped to his knees with a grunt. The guests started to panic. As quickly as it had begun, everything stopped.

Haruhi opened her eyes and gave her head a shake. The headache was completely gone. She heard a moan and looked down to see Tamaki sprawled out on the floor.

"Tamaki!" Haruhi exclaimed, hurrying to his side. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," Tamaki answered. "I think that had to be the worst migraine I've ever had."

"Dude, that was seriously messed up," Hikaru said. "What the hell happened?"

"I wish I knew," Kyoya adjusted his glasses.

"Yay! My head doesn't hurt anymore!" Honey exclaimed.

Mori made an affirmative grunt.

"Hey guys, what'd I miss?" Kaoru asked, returning with a full cup of coffee.

"Did you suddenly get a splitting headache for no apparent reason?" Tamaki asked.

"No, why?"

"Because the rest of us did."

"Everyone? Even the guests?" Kaoru's eyes widened.

"No, just us hosts," Hikaru said. "It was seriously the most messed up thing ever."

"More messed up than the zombies?" Kaoru asked.

"Okay, maybe not that messed up," Hikaru admitted. "But still messed up."

"I smell another Youtube movie!" Kaoru grinned, whipping out his camera.

"Let's at least send the guests home before you start filming this," Kyoya sighed.

They ushered the anxious girls out of the room, assuring them that everything would be back to normal the next day. As soon as the girls were gone, Kaoru turned on the camera.

"Okay," he began. "Today began as a normal day until the Host Club meeting. While I was out getting some more coffee, every single host but me was struck with a bizarre headache. We have no idea how or why…so far."

"Kyoya," Tamaki spoke up. "You're taking an anatomy class, isn't there some fancy medical term for sudden massive headaches?"

"Well," Kyoya thought for a moment. "Sometimes strokes or concussions announce themselves with headaches."

"Strokes?" Tamaki gulped.

"Don't be so paranoid, Tamaki," Haruhi said. "The odds of every single one of us but Kaoru suffering a stroke at exactly the same time are about a billion to one."

"Maybe it's a virus symptom," Hikaru whispered. "Maybe we're all going to turn into zombies!"

"I don't think so, Hika-chan," Honey shook his head. "You don't turn into a zombie unless you're bitten, and none of us were bitten."

"Maybe aliens have inserted tracking devices into each of our brains!" Tamaki exclaimed.

The other hosts rolled their eyes and groaned.

"Seriously?" Haruhi asked. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Okay, the boss' badassery levels have just gone down the toilet," Hikaru said.

"Yeah," Kaoru agreed. "He had to bring up the aliens."

"Well then what's your idea, genius?" Tamaki snapped.

"I have no freakin' clue!" Kaoru protested. "I wasn't there!"

"Not helping," Mori sighed.

"Maybe it's nothing," Haruhi said. "Maybe, we're just blowing this whole thing way out of proportion."

"I wish I could agree with you," Kyoya replied. "But this is just too bizarre to be nothing."

"Why don't we wait and see what happens tomorrow?" Honey piped up.

"I think that's our best bet," Tamaki nodded.

"In that case," Kaoru grinned. "I want everyone to take a video camera home with them and document everything that you do. If something strange happens to any of you, I want to make sure we get it on film!"

"I think that's a little excessive," Haruhi protested.

"Nonsense!" Kaoru scoffed. "This is GeminiTV Productions! We never do anything halfway!"

"But Haruhi and I are going out tonight," Tamaki said.

"All the more reason for the camera!" Hikaru answered with a wicked glint in his eyes.

"You disgusting pervert," Tamaki spat.

"Hey, your steamy makeout scenes were what got us all the hits last time," Kaoru said matter of factly. "We owe part of our popularity to you guys."

"Whatever," Tamaki rolled his eyes.

"Okay then," Hikaru said. "I think we're done here. Don't forget your cameras and leave them on at all costs."

"Yes my liege," Kyoya snorted.

"Ha, ha, ha, shut up you jackass," Hikaru muttered.

Haruhi and Tamaki exchanged a glance. Tonight's date was sure going to be interesting.

* * *

"So, what are we gonna do tonight?" Tamaki asked as he and Haruhi left the school. "I wanted to take you out to dinner, but since we have these cameras I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Hm," Haruhi thought for a moment, training her camera on Tamaki. "We could watch a movie."

"Oh, did I tell you? I just bought _Spirited Away_," Tamaki said. "We could watch that."

"I love that movie," Haruhi replied. "Let's do that."

"Ok, I'll call you when I finish my homework," Tamaki grinned.

"Got it," Haruhi said. "I'll be waiting."

"I don't have much, so it won't be long," Tamaki assured. "Don't pine for me too much, darling."

"Ha, ha," Haruhi rolled her eyes.

When they arrived at Haruhi's apartment complex, they stopped.

"I don't think it would be a good idea for you to escort me to the door," Haruhi said. "My dad's home."

"Got it," Tamaki swallowed hard. "Good bye, love, I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Bye," Haruhi stood on her toes to kiss him.

Then Tamaki turned and left.

* * *

"Haruhiiiii!" Ranka called as Haruhi entered the apartment. "Did you bring that despicable boyfriend of yours here again?"

"And a good afternoon to you too, dad," Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Haruhi," Ranka came out of the kitchen. "But I still think that boy is bad news."

"Dad, seriously," Haruhi sighed. "You don't even know him."

"I know enough," Ranka crossed his arms.

"Well, then," Haruhi glared at him. "Do you know how many times he saved my life when those zombies attacked? Do you know how many times he could've taken advantage of me and didn't? Do you?"

Ranka didn't say anything, but his lips thinned into a hard line. She'd won for now.

"I didn't think so," Haruhi said, entering her bedroom.

She closed the door, took out a book, and waited for Tamaki to call.

Haruhi wasn't waiting for very long before her phone buzzed.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hello, darling," Tamaki's voice purred on the other line. "I'll be over to pick you up in five minutes."

"You live ten minutes away, Tamaki," Haruhi sighed.

"I'll speed."

"You better not. Just because you drive a Porsche doesn't mean that the cops won't ticket you the same."

"Fine," Tamaki grumbled. "I'll be over in ten."

"See you then," Haruhi hung up.

* * *

"What do you think that weird headache was, Takashi?" Honey asked as they left their kendo class.

"Dunno," Mori shrugged. "Not aliens."

"Well, that's obvious," Honey replied. "I don't think it was a stroke or virus either."

"What do you think it was?" Mori asked.

"I'm not sure, but I have a hunch," Honey began. "Right before I got my headache, I saw a girl standing outside the club room."

"A girl?"

"Yeah, I didn't get a good look at her, but she looked pretty goth."

"Goth huh?" Mori thought for a moment. "You think it was the Black Magic Club?"

"Bingo," Honey answered.

"But Nekozawa's our friend," Mori said. "Why would he curse us?"

"I doubt she was working by his orders," Honey replied. "Cuz you're right, Neky-chan would never curse us after we helped him and his sister."

"Yeah."

"What do you think the curse was, Takashi?" Honey asked. "Do you think it was just the headache?"

"No," Mori shook his head. "I'm sure there's more to it."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, tomorrow."

* * *

Tamaki came to pick Haruhi up exactly ten minutes later. Haruhi had no idea how that boyfriend of hers managed to be so punctual.

"Hello darling," Tamaki kissed her at the door.

"Hi, Tamaki," Haruhi said. "Let's go before my dad says anything."

"So he still hates me," Tamaki sighed.

"Don't let it get you down too much," Haruhi slipped her hand into his as they walked to where Tamaki had parked his Porsche. "I'll love you no matter what he thinks."

"We just totally got that on film," Tamaki grinned.

"The twins will applaud us," Haruhi answered. "So what about the rest of the date?"

"We're just going to be watching a movie," Tamaki said. "Not much to see."

Haruhi knew he was planning something, but she had no idea what.

When they arrived at the Suoh mansion, they had a nice dinner with Tamaki's father who was very eager to know what the video cameras were for.

"I honestly have no idea," Tamaki told him. "It was the twins' idea, they're trying to make another movie."

"Another movie, hm?" Yuzuru asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I think they're trying to get us to make a porno or something," Tamaki rolled his eyes.

"Tamaki!" Haruhi blushed deeply.

"We're not actually going to make one!" Tamaki assured.

"You'd better not!" Yuzuru growled. "I thought I raised you better than that."

"I would never do that!" Tamaki protested. "You and mom raised me just fine!"

"Good," Yuzuru said. "In that case, I'll let you two get to your movie. Thank you for having dinner with a poor, company starved, old man."

"You're welcome, Yuzuru-san," Haruhi bowed slightly.

"Yeah, dad," Tamaki said.

"Now off with you, enjoy the movie," Yuzuru waved them off.

"Bye Yuzuru-san," Haruhi said as Tamaki grabbed her hand and dragged her away.

Once they were down to the basement entertainment center, Haruhi sat on the huge couch in front of the monstrous flat screen.

"Okay," Tamaki fished a DVD out of the storage bin. "_Spirited Away_."

He put the DVD into the player and sat on the opposite side of the couch, resting the camera on the end table. Once the movie started, Haruhi's phone buzzed. It was a text from Tamaki. She shot him a quizzical look before flipping her phone open.

_Rest ur camera hand on the end table,_ it read.

Haruhi did as the text ordered. As soon as she'd done so, her phone buzzed again, another text from Tamaki.

_Carefully slip ur hand out of the strap, don't jostle it,_ the text said. _Meet me in the middle of the couch._

Haruhi did as she was told, blushing madly, they were going to trick the camera. She made sure she didn't move the camera as she slid her hand out of the strap, then she joined Tamaki in the middle of the couch. Tamaki didn't say anything, choosing to say it all with one passionate kiss. Haruhi melted into him, tangling her fingers into his silky blond hair. She felt his hand press on her back, pulling her closer.

"The twins aren't going to be happy about this," Haruhi whispered against his mouth.

"Who cares?" Tamaki kissed her again. "What they don't know won't hurt them. We're just watching a movie."

"They'll figure it out," Haruhi said.

"We'll be quiet," Tamaki whispered.

"You're impossible," Haruhi sighed.

"You love it," Tamaki leaned his forehead against hers.

Haruhi couldn't argue that as Tamaki started to kiss her again. He moved his lips softly over her neck.

"No hickeys," Haruhi hissed.

"No worries."

Needless to say, they didn't watch much of the movie.

* * *

"This is the most boring movie ever made," Hikaru complained as he lounged on his bed doing absolutely nothing.

"It's not like we can't edit out the boring parts," Kaoru said with a shrug. "I'm positive that something will come out of this. It might be even more successful than _The Host Club vs. the Zombies_."

"I don't know if anything could top that, dude," Hikaru replied. "We'll just have wait and see. Anyways, I'm gonna shower up, don't even _think_ about following me this time, bro."

"Aw, come on!" Kaoru grinned. "You gotta admit that was funny."

"That wasn't funny, bro, that was disturbing."

"You just can't see the humor in the little things, Hikaru," Kaoru said sweetly.

"You are such a creep, you know that?" Hikaru asked.

"Hey, I learned it all from you, brother mine," Kaoru replied. "And don't forget, having me film your every move was your idea. I was just trying to do what you told me."

"Whatever," Hikaru rolled his eyes and left the room.

As soon as he was gone, Kaoru got in front of the camera.

"Just so you know, the movie we just mentioned, _A Day in the Live of a Hitachiin_ is on Youtube," Kaoru said. "Just check out our channel GeminiTV Productions and it's our first ever post. The movie kinda sucked but that scene was funny. You can skip the rest of movie and just watch that, you won't miss much. Check it out."

He winked at the camera before getting up and flopping onto his bed with a book.

* * *

When the movie ended, Haruhi reluctantly disentangled herself from Tamaki's embrace. She knew she was a mess, her hair was sticking up at more angles than she cared to count and her boyfriend had somehow gotten her blouse rucked up to her bra line. Tamaki didn't look much better. His shirt was half unbuttoned and his hair looked like he'd stuck his finger in an electrical socket. The worst part was the idiotic grin he had plastered to his face.

"If you tell anyone I let you get to second base I will publicly dump you and tell my father!" Haruhi hissed as she smoothed her hair and blouse.

"Relax, babe," Tamaki replied. "Why on earth would I do that?"

Haruhi gave him a satisfied nod before slipping her hand back into the camera strap.

"Good movie," she said loudly.

"I know," Tamaki replied. "I've seen it, like, five million times but I get tired of it."

"At least you weren't quoting it this time," Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"You punch hard!" Tamaki said. "I learned my lesson."

"Thank heavens you require minimal training," Haruhi grinned.

"Ha, ha, you're funny," Tamaki replied. "I'd better get you home. I really don't want your dad to kill me."

"Yeah, I don't want him to kill you either," Haruhi said. "I kind of like having you around."

"Thanks, love," Tamaki took her hand. "Let's go."

With that, they left the room and went to the garage.

* * *

Kyoya sat in front of his laptop, staring hard at the screen. Nothing, so far he'd found nothing that gave him any clue about the strange headaches they had suffered earlier that day. He made a low growling sound in this throat and he angrily snapped his laptop closed.

"What the hell happened?" Kyoya muttered. "And why can't I find any info on it?"

He sighed heavily and decided to go to bed, staying up late pursuing something the completely eluded him simply wouldn't be profitable.

* * *

Things started to get freaky as soon as the clock struck midnight. Each host (with the exception of Kaoru) simultaneously changed sleep position. Hikaru curled into a ball, Haruhi sprawled out, Mori lay on his side, Tamaki rolled onto his stomach, Kyoya put his thumb in his mouth, and Honey started dreaming of calculus.

* * *

"Hey, you gotta wake up. It's time for school."

Haruhi groaned and pulled the covers over her head. Was it really time for school already?

"Come on, seriously, you've gotta get up," the voice continued.

Haruhi really didn't feel like listening. It was probably her dad leaving for work early. Her alarm would get her up in time for school.

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" the voice huffed. "And you say it's impossible to get me up in the morning."

_That's weird,_ Haruhi thought. _Why does my dad sound like Kaoru? And why aren't I wearing my tank top?_

Suddenly she felt the covers being ripped off her. Her eyes snapped open to see Kaoru…standing over her…in nothing but a pair of plaid boxers…and Haruhi wasn't wearing her tank top. Realization plowed into her like a freight train and scream ripped from her throat.

"What the hell?" Kaoru jumped back, startled.

Haruhi screamed again, "Get away from me you PERVERT! I can't believe you made me cheat on my boyfriend! What did you do, drug me?"

"Whoa, wait," Kaoru said. "Back up a sec, you have a boyfriend? When did this happen? I didn't even know you were gay, bro."

"Of course I have a boyfriend!" Haruhi shot back. "Where have you—wait, did you just call me 'bro'?"

"Uh, yeah," Kaoru replied. "Last I checked you were my brother, Hikaru."

"I'm not Hikaru!" Haruhi exclaimed. "I'm Haruhi, Haruhi Fujioka."

"Well you look a hell of a lot like Hikaru," Kaoru said.

"Oh my god," Haruhi leapt out of bed and rushed to the mirror hanging over the dresser.

The reflection staring back at her from the mirror did not belong to her. It was Hikaru, her reflection was Hikaru's. Haruhi stared at the mirror, wide eyed for a moment before launching into another fit of screaming. This could NOT be happening, this simply could NOT be happening! What the hell was going on? Was this some kind of sick joke…or a hallucination? It had to be a hallucination.

"Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Quit screaming!" Kaoru shouted. "You're gonna freak out the maids!"

Haruhi barely heard him over the sound of her own screams, which sounded a lot like Hikaru's come to think of it.

"YO! HARUHI!" Kaoru gripped her shoulders and gave her a shake. "Calm down before you rupture something!"

Haruhi's screams sputtered to a stop and she took a few breaths. Kaoru patter her shoulder reassuringly.

"Okay," he said. "Just breathe, take a deep breath and let it out slowly."

Haruhi did as she was told and started to feel a little better.

"Now, I want you to calmly answer my questions," Kaoru went on. "Are you Haruhi Fujioka?"

"Yes," Haruhi replied.

"So you are not my brother, Hikaru Hitachiin?" Kaoru asked.

"No way!"

"Okay, now, I'm going to make sure that you are indeed Haruhi Fujioka," Kaoru said. "What did you get Tamaki for his birthday this year?"

"Two tickets to a Skillet concert in Tokyo," Haruhi replied. "They were in the mosh pit because Tamaki had told me how badly he wanted to high five the lead singer."

"Yup, you're definitely Haruhi," Kaoru nodded.

"I told you," Haruhi said. "But that doesn't really solve anything. What the hell's going on here? And put some pants on!"

"Call me crazy, but I have a hunch," Kaoru answered. "You've seen the movie _Freaky Friday_, right?"

"Yeah."

"I think you're trapped in my brother's body. I know it's farfetched but, surprisingly enough, that's the only theory that makes sense here."

Haruhi stood for a moment, trying to process what Kaoru had just told her.

"So, you think I'm trapped in Hikaru's body?" she asked slowly.

"It would appear so," Kaoru nodded. "But don't freak out yet, I do have some good news. The whole room's been rigged with cameras, so we have a new movie on our hands!"

Haruhi groaned and slumped onto the bed, "Big help Kaoru."

"I'm sorry," Kaoru said. "But I'm an independent filmmaker! I take inspiration when it comes!"

"Seriously?" Haruhi asked. "Wait a sec, if I'm in Hikaru's body, then who's in mine?"

They exchanged a worried glance. Things just got a whole lot worse.

* * *

Hikaru awoke to the sound of a cell phone ringing. He growled and lifted his head.

"Bro, shut off your stupid phone!" Hikaru said, rubbing his eyes. "Bro, I'm serious! Your ringtone is fricken' annoying, turn it off."

There was no answer, Hikaru blinked his eyes open. He wasn't in his room, he was in…Haruhi's room. What the _hell_? How'd he get there?

"Kaoru?" Hikaru called. "Kaoru are you there?"

Once again, no answer. Hikaru started to feel panicky, where was Kaoru? What was going on? The cell phone continued to ring and Hikaru risked a glance at it. The ID read _Da Nastee Perv_. That was his ID in Haruhi's phone. How was this possible? He was in Haruhi's room, how could he be calling himself? No one could be in two places at once. Hikaru picked up the phone and slowly opened it.

"H-hello?" he said, voice higher than he ever thought it could go.

"Hikaru? Is that you?"

That was his voice on the line.

"Who is this?" Hikaru whispered.

"This is Haruhi," his voice said. "We have a very big problem."

"Yeah, I can see that," Hikaru replied. "Do you have any idea why you sound like me, why I'm in your room, and why you have my phone?"

"Have you looked in a mirror yet, Hikaru?" Haruhi asked.

"No."

"I think you should, it will probably answer some of your questions."

Hikaru went to the mirror near Haruhi's dresser and froze. Haruhi was in the mirror. Her brown eyes were huge with shock and her hair was disheveled. The phone fell from Hikaru's shaking hand and clattered on the floor. He rushed forward and put his face close to the glass. Hikaru started making faces at the reflection, trying to determine if it was really his. It was.

"Hikaru!" Haruhi shouted from the dropped phone. "Hikaru, are you still there?"

Hikaru slowly walked back and picked up the phone.

"Holy hell on a fucking bicycle," Hikaru said. "I'm a chick."

"Hikaru, listen to me very carefully," Haruhi ordered. "If you sexually molest of violate my body in any way while you're inhabiting it, I will castrate you. You hear me? Castrate you! I am inhabiting your body Hikaru Hitachiin, what goes around comes around, remember that. And don't you dare be late! Meet us in Music Room 3 at 8:00 so we can figure out what the crap happened."

"Right, got it, see you then," Hikaru hung up.

He put the phone on the dresser and turned back to the mirror. Hikaru Hitachiin was trapped in the body of the girl he used to have a serious crush on. He now had access to do things that she would never even let her boyfriend do. An evil grin lifted Hikaru's features, it was time to take a shower, a nice, long, hot shower.

* * *

Tamaki did not want to get out of bed. It was Wednesday, he had a huge test on _Beowulf_ in his Brit. Lit. class. Tamaki sighed and rolled onto his back, opening his eyes slowly. He was not in his room. Tamaki sat bolt upright and looked around. He was in Mori-sempai's room and had been sleeping in Mori-sempai's bed. How on earth had he gotten there? He went straight home after dropping Haruhi off. Tamaki got out of bed, he'd just have to find Mori and ask him what happened. Then he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and abruptly did a double take. His skin was the wrong color, his hair was short and jet black, and he was taller. Tamaki's now grey eyes got gigantic and his jaw fell open. What…the…FUCK? He was…was…Mori-sempai…how…how…?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Tamaki screamed in Mori's baritone voice. "What's happened to MEEE?"

Tamaki started to run around the room all the while screaming at the top of his lungs and flapping his arms. This had to be a dream, or a hallucination, or maybe aliens really had kidnapped him and were messing with his mind!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Tamaki continued to scream until he ran out of air and passed out.

* * *

Kyoya knew it was going to be a bad day when he woke up to find Honey-sempai's Usa-chan staring at him.

"What the hell?" Kyoya muttered, narrowing his eyes.

Then he realized he wasn't wearing his glasses and he could see perfectly fine. Kyoya lifted his head and looked around. His room was pink…and flowery…and full of unfamiliar stuffed animals. Kyoya was sure he was going to throw up, that was when he heard the screaming.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" bellowed a deep voice.

"What the…?"

Kyoya moved to get out of the unnaturally pink and fluffy bed and realized something odd. The bed seemed strangely high to him. He quickly looked down at himself and groaned, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what had happened. Kyoya Ooteri now looked disturbingly like Honey-sempai.

The screaming started again and Kyoya hopped out of the bed and went down the hall. Suddenly the screaming stopped abruptly and was replaced by a heavy thump. Kyoya pushed open the door to find Mori-sempai passed out on the floor looking dreadfully pale. Kyoya hurried over and knelt beside him.

"Mori-sempai," Kyoya tapped him on the shoulder. "Mori-sempai, get up. Are you alright?"

Mori groaned and slowly opened his eyes.

"Honey-sempai?" he asked, cocking his head slightly. "You don't usually call me Mori-sempai…"

"And you don't usually call me Honey-sempai," Kyoya said.

Mori stared at him wide eyed. Kyoya recognized that look…but not from Mori-sempai.

"Tamaki?" Kyoya asked. "Is that you?"

Mori nodded vigorously, "Kyoya?"

Kyoya nodded, pleased that Tamaki was able to recognize him in spite of the fact he now looked and sounded like Honey-sempai.

"KYOYA!" Tamaki exclaimed, grabbing him in crushing embrace. "Ican'tbelieveit'syouwhatthehellhappenedtous!"

"Tamaki I didn't get a word of that!" Kyoya gasped, struggling in his grip. "And let me go!"

Tamaki quickly let go of Kyoya and backed up a bit.

"Do you have any idea what the hell's going on?" Tamaki asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Not in the slightest, but I do have a theory I think you'll appreciate," Kyoya said.

"What is it?"

"I think we've all switched bodies. How that happened, I have no idea."

"It was probably those strange headaches that did it," Tamaki replied. "I mean, that's the only logical symptom I can come up with."

"Wow, you're actually thinking clearly," Kyoya said. "I'm impressed."

"Thank you, so am I," Tamaki admitted. "Especially since I don't even have my own brain to work with."

"I won't say the comment that just popped into my head," Kyoya smirked.

"Wait a sec, if I'm in Mori-sempai's body, and you're in Honey-sempai's body, then who's in our bodies?" Tamaki asked. "OH MY GOD! HARUHI! Who's in her body? What if she switched with one of those demon gingers?"

"Tamaki, calm down!" Kyoya snapped. "Mori-sempai's phone is on the dresser over there, give it to me. I have some phone calls to make."

* * *

The first thing Honey noticed when he opened his eyes was the fact his vision was blurry. He quickly rubbed his eyes before opening them again. His vision was still just as blurry as before. Panic rose in Honey's chest, was he going blind? What was going on?

"Takashi!" he yelled, then stopped short. His voice was different, deeper and more masculine.

Honey reached up and rubbed his throat, tears springing to his eyes. He was losing his voice, he was going blind, and he couldn't find his Usa-chan! Just when he thought he was going to lose it he heard a cell phone ring. Honey looked at the bedside table, it looked like a huge blur. Finding the phone would be a challenge. Honey set his jaw and willed himself not to cry as he felt around the bedside table. Suddenly, his fingers brushed something glassy. It wasn't the phone, it was a pair of glasses.

"Maybe these will help," Honey said to himself as he put them on.

As soon as the glasses were in front of his eyes, his vision snapped into sharp focus. Honey was sitting in Kyoya's room, on Kyoya's bed. The cell phone continued to ring on the bedside table, Mori's ID flashing on the screen. He snatched it up and flipped it open.

"Takashi!" he exclaimed.

"Uh, Honey-sempai," a voice that sounded way too much like his own, was coming from the other line. "Is that really you?"

"Of course it is!" Honey exclaimed. "Who are you? Why do you sound like me? Where's Takashi? And where's Usa-chan?"

"This is Kyoya," the voice said. "And you're in my body."

"WHAT?" Honey shrieked. "How is that possible, Kyo-chan? Even if it does explain a few things…"

"I have no idea," Kyoya answered. "Just get to Ouran as soon as possible and make absolutely certain my father doesn't see you."

"But what about Takashi?" Honey asked.

"We think he's in Tamaki's body," Kyoya said. "But I'm going to check for sure as soon as I get off the phone with you."

"Do you have my Usa-chan?"

"Yes, I'll bring it to the school. Meet us in the 3rd Music Room at 8:00."

"Okay!"

"Remember," Kyoya warned. "Don't let my father see you."

"Don't worry, Kyo-chan," Honey said. "I won't let anyone see me!"

"Good, see you at school."

"Right!"

Then Kyoya hung up and Honey snapped the phone closed. He sat on the bed to think for a moment. First he'd have to get dressed, then he'd have to think of a way to sneak out the window without setting off any alarms…

* * *

Something warm, wet, and smelling faintly of hamburger was running itself over Mori's face. He grunted and opened his eyes. Johnny, Tamaki's incredibly ugly Chihuahua, was in the middle of licking his chin.

"Johnny?" he asked. "What're you doing here, little guy? Shouldn't you be home with Tamaki?"

Johnny barked once and gave him a funny look. Mori patted the dog's head and sat up…something was very wrong with this picture. He was in Tamaki's room. Why was he in Tamaki's room? Mori looked down at himself, his skin was pale, paler than natural.

"What the…?" Mori jumped out of the bed and rushed to the full length mirror standing next to the dresser.

He looked like Tamaki, same hair, same eyes, same everything. Mori turned back to where Johnny sat regarding him from the end of the bed.

"Do you have any idea what happened last night?" Mori asked the Chihuahua.

Johnny barked again and cocked his head.

"I didn't think so," Mori answered. "Shit."

* * *

Kaoru couldn't wait until they arrived at school. He desperately wanted to see the effects of last night's body swap.

"This is going to be the best movie EVER!" he laughed almost maniacally. "Stop looking so gloomy, Haruhi."

"Seriously, Kaoru," Haruhi (who was trapped in his brother's body) snapped. "Your brother is currently inhabiting my body, and you don't seem to be very concerned about that!"

"Trust me, I am concerned," Kaoru assured. "I'd be concerned if he was inhabiting my body too, but come on, you've got to admit this is cool! I can't wait to get the footage from the others!"

"For people watching it maybe," Haruhi groaned.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be able to get switched back," Kaoru said. "It's like _Freaky Friday_, they got switched back just fine."

"But we don't have any fortune cookies," Haruhi replied. "And on top of that, today is Wednesday."

"Then it's a whacked-out Wednesday," Kaoru shrugged. "Ooh, that's a good title, I'll have to remember that!"

Then the car stopped in front of Ouran. It was 7:50 and the school was virtually empty, classes didn't start until almost nine. They had been told by Kyoya, who had sounded freakishly like Honey-sempai, to be at Music Room 3 by 8:00. Kaoru had insisted on them being the first ones there so he'd be able to get a shot of everyone as they came in.

They entered the music room and Kaoru immediately planted himself on the couch facing the door. He was not going to miss a single shot. Haruhi sat next to him, fidgeting quietly. Nothing happened until 7:55, when the door opened quietly and Tamaki stuck his head in. Kaoru felt Haruhi tense beside him. It was insanely weird to see someone that looked like his brother get that kind of reaction.

"Okay, first person to enter," Kaoru said. "We know you look like Tamaki, but who are you really?"

"It's me, Mori," he said, walking toward them. "And I know you're Kaoru, but you," he pointed at Haruhi. "You are?"

"I'm Haruhi," Haruhi said (in Hikaru's voice). "Hikaru's in my body."

"Ooh," Mori said (in Tamaki's voice), sitting beside her. "Bad."

"Yeah," Haruhi nodded.

It was so strange seeing what appeared to be his brother and Tamaki conversing so calmly, that Kaoru almost forgot to film as Honey and Mori, or their bodies at least, entered.

"Where's Haruhi?" Mori demanded, immediately cluing everyone in to who was inhabiting his body.

"Well, we all know who the boss switched with," Kaoru smirked. Things just got really interesting.

"I'm here," Haruhi said.

"NOOOOOOO!" Tamaki wailed (in Mori's voice), dropping to his knees. "My beloved girlfriend switched bodies with a DEMON GINGER! Who knows what kinds of awful things that pervert is doing to her sweet virginal body!"

"Tamaki, shut up," Haruhi groaned, putting her face in her hands. "Not now."

"Stop growing mushrooms on the floor," Honey (at least that's who it looked like) ordered. "We need to plan how we're going to deal with this."

"Kyoya-sempai?" Kaoru asked. "Is that you?"

"Yes it is," Kyoya answered (in Honey's voice). "And if you don't stop smirking I'm going to kill you."

It was incredibly strange how someone as adorable as Honey-sempai could look so insanely terrifying with Kyoya inhabiting him.

"So if you're in Honey-sempai's body," Kaoru motioned to Kyoya. "Then that mean he's in—"

The doors burst open revealing Kyoya's body, surrounded by the levitating pink flowers that usually accompanied Honey-sempai.

"I'm HEEEEEERE!" he bellowed. "Sorry I'm late, but it took me forever to find a sheet long enough to climb out the window."

Tamaki's jaw dropped, Mori and Haruhi looked disturbed, Kyoya looked like he was about to commit suicide, and Kaoru almost dropped the camera. This had to be the most disturbing thing any of them had ever seen.

"What are you all staring at?" Honey asked (in Kyoya's voice). "Do I have a booger hanging out of my nose?"

"No offense, Honey-sempai," Tamaki cleared his throat. "But you really don't look good in Kyoya's body."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Honey cocked his head.

"We'll leave it at that," Kyoya growled. "By the way, here's your bunny."

"My Usa-chan!" Honey exclaimed as he snatched it from Kyoya's hands. "Which one of you is Takashi?"

"I am," Mori (in Tamaki's body) raised his hand.

"You look funny as Tama-chan," Honey said. "Now you can't give me rides."

"After we switch back," Mori replied.

"It's 8:00," Haruhi spoke up. "Where the hell is Hikaru?"

As if in answer, the door open and Hikaru breezed in…in Haruhi's body. Everyone's jaw dropped. Hikaru was dressed to the nines in a brown ruffled mini-skirt, a low cut, not to mention hot pink, tank top, and a pair of brown wedge sandals. It was weird enough seeing Haruhi dressed like a serious girl, but it was even weirder knowing there was a guy inhabiting her body.

"Hikaru Hitachiin, I'm going to kill you," Haruhi's voice was a dangerous growl.

"What? I'm doing you a favor!" Hikaru replied (in Haruhi's voice). "Tamaki, at least I hope that's Tamaki, got a serious nosebleed just from looking at me!"

Sure enough, Tamaki was sitting there, in Mori's body, with blood dribbling out of one nostril onto the floor.

"Tamaki! Wipe that up!" Haruhi snapped.

"I'm sorry," Tamaki shot back. "But your body looks hot!"

"Don't encourage him!" Haruhi yelled, pointing at Hikaru.

Then Mori stood and whacked Hikaru upside the head.

"Ow! Geeze! Mori-sempai?" Hikaru rubbed the back of his head.

"Inappropriate," Mori replied.

"Dude, you look weird in the boss' body," Hikaru said. "And is that Honey-sempai in Kyoya-sempai's body hugging Usa-chan?"

"Yes," Kyoya answered (in Honey's voice). "And I'm Kyoya in Honey-sempai's body."

Hikaru stared at him for a moment, "Okay, this is definitely more messed up than the zombies."

"Of course it is!" Tamaki exclaimed, jumping to his feet. "You're in my girlfriend's body you demon ginger!"

"I kinda like your girlfriend's body," Hikaru smirked.

"You sick, twisted, disgusting PERVERT!" Haruhi shrieked. "As soon as I get my body back I'm going to murder you slowly!"

Kaoru kept the camera focused on the ensuing chaos as Tamaki and Haruhi (looking just like Hikaru and Mori) started to chase Hikaru (who looked like Haruhi) around the room. Honey (looking like Kyoya) sat quietly on the floor, holding Usa-chan, and eating a piece of cake. Mori (looking like Tamaki) stood quietly and watched the chase. Kyoya (looking like Honey) had taken out his laptop and was relentlessly typing away at something. Kaoru shook his head. How the hell were they going to get through the day like this?

* * *

Mariko Suzimya watched what was going on in the music room with a sadistic smile on her pale face. The spell had worked perfectly. Everything was going according to plan.

* * *

**Author's Note: Gooberhimer is the actual account name of one of my friends *cough cough*Cleechi-kree*cough cough* who was nice enough to let me borrow it for this episode. I also hope this episode wasn't too confusing, you have no idea how hard it is to write body swap fics! Don't forget to review!**


	4. Whacked Out Wednesday Part 2

**Hello fanpeeps! It is summer at last and you know what that means? MY FANFICS ARE ALL BACK FROM HIATUS! Now that I actually have time on my hands you can probably expect both "The Ouran Supernaturals" and "Fleet of Glass" to be updated next week! Isn't that great? XD So without further ado, I present the concluding episod of the "Whacked-Out Wednesday" story arc! Don't forget the reviews! By the way, I dedicate this episode to my awesome friend HaruhiUsangie0808 for giving me the figurative kick in the pants to start working on this fic again. You rock my socks chica! Love u!**

**Summary: The Hosts must spend a school day as each other. Will they pull it off? Or will everyone think they're insane?**

**Whacked-Out Wednesday Part 2**

It took some doing, but Mori and Kyoya finally got Tamaki and Haruhi to stop trying to kill Hikaru.

"Ok, first things first," Haruhi sighed, trying to sound businesslike with Hikaru's voice. "We have to get at least some idea of how to get switched back."

"Get switched back?" Tamaki asked in Mori's gruff baritone. "How the hell are we even going to get through the day?"

"Well I think it's rather obvious," Kyoya (in Honey's body) shrugged. "We're going to have to go to class looking like _this_ regardless of whether or not we want to."

"Go to class!" Tamaki exclaimed. "How the hell is that going to work? Mori-sempai's a full year older than me, I can't keep up in his classes and—aw shit! I have a huge test on _Beowulf_ in my Brit Lit. class! You'd better have read _Beowulf_ Mori-sempai!"

Kyoya sighed heavily and tried to push his glasses up but realized he wasn't wearing them.

_Hell with it_, he thought and pulled his spare glasses case out of his pocket. He just felt so uncomfortable without them.

Kyoya put on the glasses and promptly went cross-eyed. He hadn't realized his eyes were _that_ bad.

"Uh, Kyoya-sempai, why are you wearing those?" Haruhi asked. "I mean Honey-sempai doesn't need them."

"I know that," Kyoya replied. "But I can't think clearly without them."

"Kyoya, your prescription is really high," Tamaki said. "If you keep wearing them you'll ruin Honey-sempai's eyes."

"Ruin my eyes?" Honey-sempai squeaked, clutching Usa-chan tighter. "Kyo-chan! Take them off! You're killing my vision!"

"Fine," Kyoya sighed.

"You know, I think it would be in our best interests if we didn't have club today," Kaoru said, still recording everything that was going on. "As great as the footage would be, I really don't want to be anymore embarrassed than I already am."

"What? Why the hell not? I'm ready for any of them!" Hikaru said, twirling in Haruhi's body.

"NO YOU'RE NOT! MY GIRLFRIEND IS NOT GOING TO ADVERTISE HER ASSETS LIKE SOME HOOKER IN THIS SCHOOL!" Tamaki roared, launching himself at Hikaru.

Mori quickly grabbed him in a headlock before he could get very far.

"Save your energy," he said shaking his head.

"Ok, then, we're back where we started. We are going to have to go to class like this," Kyoya said, serious. "Just try to act like the person you're inhabiting and don't exaggerate in the process. Oh, and Honey-sempai, could you at least try to be a little more serious in public?"

"I can be like Kyo-chan!" Honey pouted in Kyoya's body as everyone just shook their heads. "Just watch me." He cleared his throat, erased all emotion from his face, and adjusted his glasses.

"That's an interesting notion, in its own way," Honey deadpanned.

"Holy hell on a fucking bicycle," Hikaru said. "He actually pulled that off."

Everyone else hooted their approval and clapped. Honey immediately gave them a huge Loli grin and hugged Usa-chan.

"If Honey can pull a Kyoya, I think I'll be able to imitate Mori-sempai for a day," Tamaki grinned. "All I have to do is be quiet and talk in monosyllables."

"I highly doubt you'll be able to stay quiet for any long period of time," Kyoya smirked.

"And I highly doubt you'll be able to act all Loli and adorable like Honey-sempai for any long period of time!" Tamaki pouted. "Not without straining something anyway."

"Before we even go," Haruhi cleared her throat. "Hikaru, GET THOSE CLOTHES OFF AND PUT ON A UNIFORM OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL YOU!"

"Oh well, if you say so," Hikaru said, seductively pulling a strap of the tank top down and making Tamaki have a serious nosebleed all over again.

"I meant in the changing room, you pervert!" Haruhi snarled, yanking him into the changing rooms. "Tamaki, would you go find an extra uniform?"

"I'm on it," Tamaki said.

"Now you," Haruhi addressed Hikaru. "Close your eyes! I don't want you checking out my body and getting any more nasty pervert thoughts about it!"

"Too late, I already did," Hikaru said with a grin that could only be described as demonic.

"YOU BASTARD!" Haruhi shrieked.

"What's going on?" Tamaki burst in with the extra uniform. "Is he molesting you?"

"Yes!" Haruhi snapped. "He was checking me out and probably feeling me up!"

"How do you expect me to change without seeing how the clothes look on me?" Hikaru asked. "I had no choice."

Both Haruhi and Tamaki looked like they were going to launch themselves at him.

"Whoa! Both of you calm down!" Kaoru exclaimed from the doorway. "You guys can't kill him just yet. He's in Haruhi's body, remember?"

That didn't do anything to calm the pair of them down. Before any damage could be done, Mori hurried in, grabbed them both, and shook his head.

"Some people are only still alive in this world because it's _illegal_ to kill them," Haruhi growled, shrugging out of Mori's hold. "This had better be the LAST time you _ever_ see me naked, Hikaru Hitachiin, or I will sic Tamaki, his chainsaw, and Johnny on you all at the same time! Now close your eyes and everyone else get out. I need to get you normal again."

Everyone else left the room and Haruhi changed Hikaru into her Ouran boy Uniform. When they came out, Hikaru was still pouting and Haruhi smacked him upside the head.

"That's for checking out my body!" Haruhi said. "Pervert."

"That aside, we'd best be on our watch. Whoever did this to us is probably watching and thinking it caused some sort of harm," Kyoya said.

Honey and Mori exchanged a glance but didn't say anything. It would be best to get through the day and tell them about the girl later.

"All the more reason to keep your cameras on! We might catch the bitch that put us in this mess!" Hikaru grinned.

"Plus we can get great footage if you do something totally out of sync with the person you're supposed to be!" Kaoru also grinned.

"Something tells me this is going to be a long, long day," Haruhi sighed.

* * *

"Look at Honey-sempai walking next to Mori-sempai! He looks like a cute little grown up! All independent!" a girl squealed as Kyoya (in Honey's body) walked alongside Tamaki (in Mori's body).

It was so hard for Kyoya to act like a Loli boy he could hardly stand it. Not even in his most twisted nightmares was he ever a _Loli_! And now here he was, smiling every second and hugging Usa-chan like his life depended on it. It had taken quite a bit of doing to get Honey to part with his beloved pink bunny. Kyoya had told him that it would raise suspicion if he didn't have it with him. After much wailing and crying on Honey's part, he had finally given Kyoya his Usa-chan. Now here he was, walking down the hallways wishing he could die.

_I must look like a complete idiot. How does Honey-sempai even _do_ this?_ Kyoya thought.

Tamaki on the other hand seemed to be having no trouble acting like Mori. All he had to do was be serious all the time and speak in monosyllables every once in a while.

_Act serious…act serious_, Tamaki reminded himself. _Think serious thoughts…the Suoh Company, calculus, philosophy, Beowulf_…

"Um, Mori-sempai?" a small voice came from behind him.

Tamaki halted and turned to see a brown haired girl standing behind him holding a brightly wrapped package.

"I made these chocolates in Home Ec. just for you," the girl said shyly. "I-I hope y-you like them."

Tamaki's hosting instincts immediately went into overdrive, changing his stoic pose and replacing it with is trademark princely pose.

"Why thank you my lovely princess," he crooned. "Every time I taste these chocolates I shall imagine them as a kiss from your beautiful lips."

At first all the girls squealed, then they appeared to realize that it was Mori speaking, not Tamaki. The girls fell silent and looked at him strangely. It was peculiar to hear Mori say two words strung together, let alone an entire poetic phrase.

"Uh, Mori-sempai? Are you alright?" the brown haired girl asked him with a worried look.

_Oh shit…_ Tamaki's brain completely shut down.

"Takashi is still a little sleepy!" Kyoya came to the rescue. "He was up really late studying! Isn't that right, Takashi?"

Tamaki only nodded and hurried away with the box of chocolates. Kyoya skipped after him until he entered an empty classroom. Once they were sure they were alone, Kyoya smacked Tamaki upside the head as hard as he could.

"Do you _want_ everyone to know what's going on?" Kyoya snapped. "We have to act like the person we're inhabiting. So that means you can't act like a prince, you idiot!"

"It's not my fault! My Host instincts went on autopilot!" Tamaki rubbed his head. "I didn't even realize I was doing it!"

"If Haruhi were to find out you were flirting outside of Host Club activities—" Kyoya chided.

"No! Please don't tell her! I'm not unfaithful! I love her too much!" Tamaki wailed.

"Then act like Mori! God, I can't wait to get my body back! I can't keep smiling like this so much! My cheeks are killing me," Kyoya rubbed his cheeks and turned to the classroom door. "Come on you big goof, we've got classes to get through. And after that, maybe we can find a way out of this mess."

"I sure hope so. I don't want to be like Mori-sempai too long," Tamaki sighed. "I don't even wanna know what Haruhi would do if I was stuck in this body permanently."

"Yo, Morinozuka!" a guy Tamaki vaguely recognized yelled from across the hall. "What are you standing around for? The Kendo tournament starts in two hours and you haven't even practiced yet!"

"K-Kendo tournament?" Tamaki asked with a shaky baritone voice.

"Oh shit," Kyoya hissed.

* * *

"Ootori-san, are you sure you're okay?" a second year boy asked Honey (inhabiting Kyoya's body), giving him an odd look.

"Just because I said it would be best to get more cake for the class, all of you start freaking out," Honey said, careless.

"But you hate sweets," the class vice-president said.

"I guess it's time for change," he smiled.

Ever since homeroom started, Honey had done a fine job acting like Kyoya. However, when they started discussing ideas about what the homeroom needed he _had_ to bring up the cake. Mori (inhabiting Tamaki's body) only sat in his desk and said nothing. All Tamaki's fans were whispering and giggling at his side, but he only rolled his eyes. This was going to be a rough day, that much was obvious.

"Um…I still think cake is something very important for a good class!" Honey kept talking. "If we want to pass the exams we need to eat cake! The sugar rush keeps you awake and aids with memory!"

Mori let out a barely audible groan and face-palmed. Kyoya was going to murder Honey when he found out about this

"I guess we have no choice but to write it down," the vice-president sighed. "Can someone tell me what day it is today? Tuesday?"

"Wednesday," the other second year answered.

"Wednesday?" Mori's eyes went wide. "Oh shit I forgot! Sorry, but I have some business to attend to."

With that, he shot out of the classroom, followed closely by Honey.

"Well, that…was weird," the vice-president stared at the door.

"You said it," the second year said as he scratched his head.

"Takashi," Honey said as he followed Mori down the hall. "What's going on?"

"Kendo Tournament," Mori replied.

"Tama-chan!" Honey exclaimed. "We have to save him!"

"Mitsukuni," Mori said. "Get Haruhi and the twins. Haruhi might be able to help calm him down enough to think of some way out of it."

"Why do we need the twins?" Honey asked.

"We'd never hear the end of it if we left them out."

"Good point."

"There's their class," Mori said.

Honey straightened his posture, smoothed his hair, and put on a businesslike air before walking towards the classroom.

* * *

Haruhi wanted to murder Hikaru. She had never wanted to kill anyone was much as she wanted to kill him at that moment. He just sat there…in her body…being all flirty and giggly and _girly_. She wanted to punch the coy smile right off his face.

"Easy, Haruhi," Kaoru whispered. "If you kill him now, that's self mutilation."

"Just _look_ at him!" Haruhi hissed. "It's bad enough that everyone knows I'm a girl, now _he_ has to go make me look like the school slut!"

"Just take a deep breath and try to act like my brother," Kaoru said. "Pretend to ogle him or something."

"I can't ogle him!" Haruhi replied. "That's _my_ body! And it's Hikaru! Ew!"

"Master Hitachiin," the teacher snapped. "Is there something that you'd like to say?"

Before Haruhi could reply, someone loudly cleared their throat. The teacher turned to see Honey (in Kyoya's body) standing in the doorway.

"Master Ooteri," he said. "What can I do for you?"

"The chairman would like to see Ms. Fujioka and the twins immediately," Honey answered. "It's very important."

Haruhi and the twins exchanged a glance. Had the chairman figured something out? Or was this about something different? The three of them quickly got up and followed Honey out of the room. Once outside, Mori met them.

"Okay guys, what's this really about?" Haruhi asked as they started down the hall.

"There's a Kendo Tournament today," Mori said. "That I'm competing in."

They stopped short as the realization hit them.

"Tamaki," they all groaned.

"Best…movie…EVER!" Kaoru exclaimed.

Haruhi punched him as hard as she could…with Hikaru's fist.

* * *

Tamaki stood in the locker room trying to get into Mori's Kendo uniform. He had no idea how anyone could put them on.

"How the hell do you wear these things?" Tamaki muttered as he got tangled in the loose robes yet again.

"Like I know," Kyoya said. "So what are you going to do? Please tell me you have some idea."

"Well," Tamaki began. "I do have one idea. But you have to do _exactly_ as I tell you."

"Go on," Kyoya replied.

"On my way in, I saw a boom box sitting on the judges' table," Tamaki said. "When Mori-sempai comes, look in the front pocket of my backpack. There's a CD in there, put it in the boom box."

"What's on the CD?"

"Flo Rida."

A slow grin stretched across Kyoya's face, "I think I see where you're going with this."

"Okay, that smile on Honey-sempai's face is really starting to creep me out," Tamaki said. "Please stop smiling."

"Tamaki!" Haruhi (in Hikaru's body) hurried into the locker room with Honey, Mori, and the twins in tow. "Tell me you're not actually going to fight! Are you insane?"

"Those idiots in the Kendo club dragged me here! I had no choice!" Tamaki shot back. "It's not like I wanna be here!"

"So what are you going to do?" Kaoru asked, his camcorder still stuck to him like an extra limb.

"I'm going to try not to die—" Tamaki replied.

"You're not going to die," Kyoya rolled his eyes. "First of all, you're going to fight with a wooden sword, there's no way you can get killed with that."

Tamaki shot Kyoya a glare before continuing, "I have a plan."

"What's the plan?" Honey asked.

"Can we help?" Hikaru added.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Tamaki said, tying a sweatband around his forehead.

"Sometimes I wonder why I fell in love with you," Haruhi sighed and shook her head.

"I'd ask you to kiss me for luck, but you're in a demon ginger's body," Tamaki said.

"HEY!" Hikaru snapped.

"Yeah, not gonna happen," Haruhi answered. "You look like Mori-sempai, and, no offense, but I don't wanna kiss him."

"Damn, I really hope we get our bodies back soon," Tamaki rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't think I can stand not kissing my girlfriend much longer."

"Hey, Morinozuka," one of the guys from the Kendo club stuck his head into the locker room. "You have to be in the gym in five minutes."

"Well, here it goes," Tamaki said.

"Good luck Tama-chan!" Honey waved at him. "Try not to get bludgeoned to death. That would be bad and Haru-chan would be sad."

"Why does everyone go and assume that I'm going to lose?" Tamaki sighed. "I told you I had a plan."

With that he left the locker room.

* * *

"Alright," Kyoya pulled the CD out of Tamaki's (real) backpack. "Let's do this thing."

"What exactly are we doing?" Hikaru asked.

"You'll figure it out soon enough," Kyoya replied. "Come on, let's go, they're starting soon."

Haruhi and the rest of the Host Club quickly found seats near the front row of bleachers in full view of the makeshift arena. She tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach but they refused to stop fluttering. How on earth was Tamaki going to survive the tournament? He didn't know a single thing about Kendo!

"Look everyone! It's Haruhi and Tamaki!" a girlish squeal jarred her from her thoughts.

They all turned to see a large group of fangirls hurrying towards them. The Host Club exchanged a glance.

"We soooo watched _The Host Club vs. The Zombies_! I can't believe you two are actually a couple!" a girl exclaimed. "You two are so cute together!"

"I absolutely adored the scene where you two kiss because Haruhi thinks her father's dead!" another girl added. "Can we see another kiss from you guys?"

"Oh crap," Kaoru muttered.

Haruhi stifled a groan, she'd been afraid of this. Mori and Hikaru looked at each other and blinked. There was no way in hell they were going to kiss each other. For one, they were both guys. For two, they were both straighter than a pair of two by fours. Straight guys do not kiss, even if they are inhabiting the bodies of a boy and girl. End of story.

"Uh no offense, but I can't kiss you, dude," Hikaru whispered.

"Me neither," Mori replied.

"Come on! Just one little kiss!" a girl begged.

"Uh…Haruhi! A little help here!" Hikaru asked.

"You're on your own for this one," Haruhi said.

"Dude, this is so wrong," Kaoru giggled. "I love it!"

Suddenly, one of the girls slipped on a strategically placed banana peel, slamming into Mori's back. The impacted pushed him into Hikaru…and their lips met. For a moment, no one moved. Then Hikaru and Mori leapt back with howls of disgust.

"Oh god! I just kissed Mori-sempai! UGH!" Hikaru yelled, furiously wiping his lips.

Mori only grunted with a disgusted expression as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve. Honey sat with his jaw hanging open while Kaoru laughed maniacally, still taping this scene.

"Everyone, you have just witnessed my brother's first real foray into homosexuality! Big round of applause!" Kaoru announced.

"Dude! Shut up!" Hikaru yelled.

"Hey guys, what's Kyoya-sempai doing?" Haruhi asked.

The others turned to see Kyoya hurrying to the judges' table with the CD clutched in his hand. He quickly put the CD in the boom box and waited.

"I think he's carrying out that plan Tamaki mentioned," Kaoru said. "This just got a little more interesting."

"I hope it works," Hikaru added. "Look at the thug he's up against."

The boy that Tamaki was going to be fighting first was at least twice his size, even in Mori's body. Haruhi blanched slightly. If she had been worried about Tamaki before, she was distraught for him now. He needed a miracle…desperately.

Haruhi watched as Tamaki tried to keep a stoic expression on his face, but he was failing. His hands had started to shake and he took a deep breath.

"Come on, Tamaki!" Haruhi whispered.

Suddenly Kyoya turned on the boom box and _Low_ by Flo Rida blasted through the gym. Tamaki cracked his neck once, rolled his shoulders, and started to break dance.

"Holy hell on a fucking bicycle!" Hikaru exclaimed. "When did he learn _that_?"

"He's known since before he left France," Haruhi replied. "You didn't know that?"

"Okay, his badassery levels have just shot through the roof!" Kaoru laughed. "Look at that! He just took out that guy with a flare!"

Mori and Honey were too surprised to speak. They watched the scene before them with almost identical awed expressions. It seemed Tamaki Suoh was just full of surprises. Then Hikaru stood up (in Haruhi's body) and started to dance. Haruhi grabbed his arm and yanked him down before his dancing got too dirty.

"Why'd you do that?" Hikaru asked.

"Think about it," Haruhi replied.

"Come on! Dance with me!" Hikaru yanked her to her feet. "You can't not dance to this song!"

"See if you can get a flash mob started!" Kaoru said.

There was no stopping it now, Hikaru launched into a set of the dirtiest dance moves Haruhi had ever seen.

_Okay Hikaru Hitachiin_, Haruhi thought, narrowing her eyes. _Two can play this game._

Haruhi started to dance even dirtier than Hikaru. That got everyone's attention.

"Haru-chan, what are you doing?" Honey asked, looking disturbed.

"Exacting my revenge," Haruhi replied.

"Whoa! Haruhi!" Hikaru's eyes bugged out. "You're supposed to be dancing like a guy!"

"And you're supposed to stay in character!" Haruhi shot back. "You made me look like a skank so I'm going to make you look as gay as I possibly can!"

All the color drained from Hikaru's face as he realized exactly what Haruhi was doing.

"That was cold girl!" Kaoru said. "By the way, where'd you learn those moves?"

"Music videos," Haruhi answered. "Once I found out Tamaki could dance I started practicing so he could take me to clubs."

Suddenly the entire Host Club saw Haruhi in a new light.

"Now I really see why she and Tama-chan work so well together," Honey said to Mori.

Mori only grunted and nodded his reply.

* * *

Contrary to Tamaki's original belief, he actually had fun trying to win the Kendo Tournament. He won the first fight hands down, his opponent had been so surprised there was no way the poor guy had been able to recover. Tamaki almost felt bad for him. The students and the rest of the Kendo team had loved his unorthodox fighting style. The judges were not so easily impressed.

"Takashi Morinozuka," the head judge said. "Although you did win the match, we will have to disqualify you. I'm not entirely sure what you were thinking, but I have no idea what that had to do with Kendo!"

Tamaki tried to keep his features composed even though he was leaping for joy on the inside. As much fun as eviscerating someone with break dancing was, he was fairly certain he wouldn't be able to pull that off again.

"You are dismissed," the head judge went on.

A chorus of boos erupted from the stands as Tamaki managed a smart bow. Then he turned and practically ran back to the locker room.

* * *

Once Tamaki got dressed back in Mori's normal school uniform, the Host Club returned to Music Room 3 to come up with another plan of action.

"This is useless, we have no freakin' idea of what to do," Hikaru sighed. "Our reputations have been thoroughly ruined!"

"There has to be something else we can try. I can't live the rest of my high school career looking like an eternal 10 year old!" Kyoya growled.

"Well it's no fun being you either Kyo-chan!" Honey pouted. "How can you survive calculus all year round? I got a headache one class period!"

"I don't think I can live longer without Haruhi's kisses and Kendo Tournaments every other week," Tamaki said. "Being Mori-sempai is dangerous stuff."

Both Haruhi and Mori rolled their eyes.

"Now, I normally wouldn't put up such s fuss since I'm used to being a boy," Haruhi spoke up. "But the thought of Hikaru in my body, looking at me naked, and getting me dressed in the morning is seriously disturbing. There has to be some way out."

"Who can help us in our darkest hour!" Kaoru said in a mock announcer voice as he dramatically panned the camera over the assembled group.

A soft noise coming from the doorway interrupted their discussion. Everyone turned to see a dark figure slink into the room. Tamaki was the first to recognize it as Umehito Nekozawa, the president of the Black Magic Club.

"Perhaps I can be of some assistance," Nekozawa said.

"NEKOZAWA!" Tamaki screamed, running towards his black cloaked classmate and enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. "OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO HELP US! GET ME OUT OF THIS BODY, IT'S NOT MINE!"

"What the hell?" Nekozawa pried Tamaki off him. "Suoh? Is that you?"

"Yes!" Tamaki replied. "I've been stuck in Mori-sempai's body for the past few hours and I want out!"

"For the love of all that's dark in this world," Nekozawa said. "This has got to be the most disturbing body-swap spell I've ever seen. Are all of you mismatched?"

"Yeah, everyone but Kaoru," Hikaru replied. "And that's probably because there's an odd number of us. Why are you even bothering to ask anyway? Didn't you put this spell on us?"

"Hell no! Why on earth would I do something like this?" Nekozawa protested. "I have nothing against you, actually I consider you all friends of mine after you graciously helped me with my sister."

"And we're lab partners for biology," Tamaki added. "He's the reason I'm not failing."

"Also, if I had really wanted to make you suffer, I wouldn't have used a spell as insignificant as a body switch. I have much better ones for that kind of thing, if you know what I mean," he grinned evilly.

"Dude! How is it that this guy has the natural ability to give me the creeps?" Hikaru shivered.

"So, can you help us Nekozawa-sempai?" Haruhi asked.

"Of course I can," Nekozawa assured. "I wouldn't be president of the Black Magic Club if I couldn't. This is a fairly easy fix."

He reached into a pocket in his voluminous cloak and took out a small pendant.

"Now," Nekozawa began. "Everyone touch the talisman. Not you, Kaoru, you're already in your original body. If you touch that thing I have no idea where you'd end up! All of you that are touching the pendant, please close your eyes. This might hurt a bit but it won't last long."

He started to chant softly in a language that none of them knew. Tamaki was fairly certain it was Russian. Suddenly pain ripped through his skull and he cried out in surprise. The others also made similar sounds and Haruhi swayed on her feet. As soon as it happened, it stopped, just like the first time.

"All right, I think you can open your eyes now," Nekozawa said.

"Hikaru? Are you really Hikaru now, or are you still Haruhi?" Kaoru asked, nervous.

"I'm not sure… I think I'm Mori," Hikaru said.

"Seriously?" Kaoru asked.

"Nah, just kidding bro! I'm Hikaru!" Hikaru grinned.

"Don't do that!" Kaoru replied. "I'm confused enough as it is."

"Aw, come on! Lighten up!" Hikaru said, grabbing his brother in a headlock and ruffling his hair.

"Gah! Get off me!" Kaoru protested. "You almost made me drop the camera!"

"I'm BAAACKKK!" Honey cheered as he returned to his trademark perch on Mori's shoulders. "Quick Takashi! This must be celebrated with CAKE!"

Mori just sighed and shook his head before walking to the kitchen with Honey still latched onto him.

"Finally," Kyoya said, pushing up his glasses. "It would have been extremely inconvenient for me to be stuck as little boy for the rest of my life. Although I might've been able to work that to my advantage given time."

"Mirror! I need a mirror!" Tamaki exclaimed, looking around the room.

Nekozawa reached into another one of his cloak pockets and pulled out an antique mirror, "Knock yourself out."

"I'm back! I'm back! Haruhi!" Tamaki laughed once he'd seen his reflection. "Nekozawa! You're awesome! You're my best friend! And I will do anything you ask!"

Nekozawa cocked an eyebrow.

"Within reason," Tamaki hastily added.

"That's more like it," Nekozawa said.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to be a woman," Haruhi said, inspecting her reflection in Nekozawa's mirror.

"Hey, Hikaru," Tamaki turned to the redhead. "You're back in your body now, right?"

"Yeah—" Hikaru began.

Before he could finish, Tamaki nailed him in the jaw with a very impressive right hook. Hikaru went down with heavy thump.

"That's for checking out my girlfriend naked, feeling her up, and doing any of those other nasty pervert things you probably did!" Tamaki snarled.

"Thanks Tamaki," Haruhi said. "I was just about to do the exact same thing."

"I think he's had enough for a while," Tamaki replied. "You can punch him later."

"You're probably right."

"Come here," Tamaki pulled her in close.

Haruhi didn't even have the chance to protest before Tamaki's lips crushed against hers. She tried to pull away but Tamaki was holding her in a grip like a vice. Haruhi quickly gave up trying to get away and slipped her arms around his neck. Tamaki's hands roamed down her back and pulled her even closer to him. Haruhi tightened her arms around his neck and played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Awww…Now _that's_ a movie kiss!" Kaoru said with a grin.

Without separating, Haruhi and Tamaki both flipped him off. Hikaru groaned and slowly sat up, rubbing his head.

"What just happened?" he asked.

"You were just on the receiving end of Tamaki's fist," Kyoya said. "I must say it was impressive."

"Pain," Hikaru groaned.

"Anyways, Nekozawa-sempai, do you have any idea who could have switched us?" Kyoya asked, changing the subject.

"I have some ideas," Nekozawa rubbed his chin. "But first, I'd like to know if any of you saw anything before I go pointing fingers."

"Tamaki, Haruhi, please disengage," Kyoya said. "Nekozawa wants to know if anyone saw anything odd before the headaches hit yesterday."

"I didn't see anything amiss," Tamaki replied. "Did you, Haruhi?"

"No," Haruhi said.

"Don't look at me," Kaoru put up his hands. "I wasn't even there."

"I don't think any of us saw anything," Hikaru shrugged. "Sorry."

"That's not entirely true, Hika-chan," Honey spoke up. "I think I saw something."

"Well, what was it?" Nekozawa asked.

"It was a girl," Honey said. "She had black hair and long bangs so I didn't really get a good look at her face."

"Did you see her talisman?" Nekozawa asked.

"Not very well, I think it was silver though," Honey replied.

"That's all I needed to know," Nekozawa said. "I think I have our culprit."

"Who is it?" Tamaki asked, pulling Haruhi a little closer.

"A certain Mariko Suzimya," Nekozawa replied. "She'd never liked you guys, she'd often talked about teaching you a lesson. I most certainly wasn't expecting her to pull something like this."

"We'll just have to teach that bitch a lesson instead!" Hikaru said.

"Leave that to me," Nekozawa answered with the creepiest smile they'd ever seen.

As soon as he'd appeared, he was gone. The Host Club exchanged a worried glance. What was going to happen now?

"So," Kaoru said, laughing nervously. "Anyone up for canceling Host Club and playing hooky for the rest of the day?"

Even Kyoya thought that would be a good idea.

* * *

The next day, Nekozawa dropped by the Host Club meeting to introduce everyone to a new friend he'd made.

"This is Mee-chan," he said, pulling a sleek, black cat out of his pocket. "I found her wandering around the alley behind the school. She looked so lonely I couldn't resist taking her in."

"She's pretty!" Honey exclaimed.

When he tried to pet her, Mee-chan hissed and snapped at his hand.

"You'll have to excuse her," Nekozawa said. "She isn't terribly used to strangers yet, but she'll get better in time."

Tamaki, however, couldn't shake the feeling that there was something amiss about that cat. The look in her eyes when she'd hissed at Honey seemed too _human_.

"Nekozawa," Tamaki cleared his throat. "What exactly happened to Mariko?"

"She left the school out of remorse," Nekozawa replied. "She felt so terrible about what she'd done that she couldn't bear to face you. She's transferred to a public school."

"Are you sure about that?" Tamaki asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Nekozawa answered. "You don't think I'd lie, do you?"

"Uh, no, no of course not!" Tamaki stuttered.

"That's good," Nekozawa grinned. "Now, I'll let you get back to hosting. See you around."

Then he was gone.

"What was that about?" Haruhi asked Tamaki.

"Nothing, I just thought I noticed something weird about the cat," Tamaki said. "I was wrong."

As Tamaki went back to his clients, he made a mental note that asking Nekozawa too many questions was a very bad idea.

**The End**

**Next Episode: Beware the Zuka Cult! Be awesome and check it out!**


	5. Beware the Zuka Cult!

**Hello again my fanpeeps! Well, I promised the next episode last week and I delivered! Here is the first part of episode 3 of The Ouran Supernaturals. I just want to warn you all, I scarred myself for life a couple times throughout the course of writing this one...be forewarned, there are some pretty awkward scenes. So without further ado I give you Beware the Zuka Cult!**

**Summary: The Zuka Club turns out to be a violent cult of Druids! When they kidnap Haruhi to use as a sacrifice will the Host Club boys be able to save her?**

**Beware the Zuka Cult!**

The gag really was unnecessary, the captive was far too frightened to cry, let alone scream. However, it never hurt to be cautious. The three Cult members stood in a tight semi-circle around their captive, black hoods obscuring their faces. Suddenly, the tall one in the middle, obviously the leader, lifted its arms to the night sky and began to chant. The other two followed suit, filling the air with an unholy song. The captive trembled on the ground and closed her eyes. She wished she could cover her ears, but her hands were tightly bound behind her with a silken cord.

When the chant finished, the two Cult members at the ends of the semi-circle slowly backed off, muttering in their strange language. The leader slowly drew a wicked looking curved knife from the folds of its robe and advanced towards the captive. Her eyes went wide and she started struggling. It was no use, her limbs were bound too tightly and too well.

"Do not struggle," the leader said in a husky, almost feminine voice. "It will only make your death more painful. We do not wish to cause unnecessary pain."

The captive abruptly stopped moving and whimpered softly. The leader gently lifted her head and held the knife to her throat.

"Powers of the Earth!" the leader intoned. "Tonight we satisfy the demands of your sister, Moon! This is the month of her hunger, she demands virgin blood to fatten before All Hallows. We must perform the sacred rite!"

The Cult members began another chant, this one wilder and more guttural than the first. The captive took a breath to scream, but it was too late. The knife cut into the flesh of her throat and the scream died inside of her. Blood gushed from the wound and soaked the ground. The Cult members waited until the corpse was drained of blood before the leader rose.

"Sister Moon is satisfied," the leader announced.

The two other members sent up an exuberant howl.

"Our work here is finished," the leader drew back its hood, revealing that it was a woman. Her dark hair was cut short and she would have been beautiful if her features weren't so pointed and harsh.

"What will we do with the body?" one of the other Cult members asked, also pulling back her hood. Her light brown hair fell down her back in soft waves.

"Always the practical one, Chizuru," the leader patted her on the cheek. "Use your imagination."

"Shall we give the cops a show?" the smallest Cult member pulled back her hood and ran a hand through her chin length hair.

"We always do, Hinako," the leader said. "I'll be going now, I need my beauty rest."

"We'll take care of the body, Benibara-sama," Hinako replied. "You can rest assured!"

"I never doubted either of you," Benio grinned. "Good night."

* * *

"Hey, Haruhi!" Tamaki called from the kitchen. "How much popcorn do you want?"

"I think one bag should be enough for both of us," Haruhi said. "Unless you're really hungry."

"I'll make one to start with," Tamaki replied. "If that's not enough I'll make more."

"Good idea," Haruhi said, turning on the TV. "I'm going to catch a bit of the news before the movie starts."

"Okay."

Haruhi's dad was working the graveyard shift at the bar, so Haruhi invited Tamaki over to watch the premier of _Nightmare on Elm Street_ on the SyFy channel. It was the first week of October and all that would be on TV for the next month would be horror movies. Haruhi had never considered herself to be someone easily frightened, especially not after surviving a zombie near-apocalypse and a day trapped in Hikaru's body. However, scary movies were always more fun if you watched them with somebody.

The news was all the usual stuff, celebrity scandals, political intrigue, and special interest crap. Haruhi was about to change the channel when the story changed.

"The October Moon serial killer has stuck again for the fifth year in a row," the newscaster said. "This time the body was found strung up by the ankles from a tree, completely drained of blood. Strange symbols were found around the crime scene as was the cryptic message _The Moon commands it_. The name of the victim has yet to be released and the authorities will be commenting later."

Haruhi shuddered and changed the channel. She'd heard the stories about the October Moon Killer often enough, but this time she just couldn't stand hearing another one. Haruhi didn't quite understand how a killer as high profile and gruesome could go unpunished for five years. The most likely reason was probably because they only killed four people a year, always in October, and always in accordance with the moon phases.

"Anything interesting in the news?" Tamaki asked, sitting beside her with the bowl of popcorn.

"The October Moon Killer is back," Haruhi said. "As usual."

"I can't understand it," Tamaki shook his head. "It can't be the work of one person, that's for sure."

"How do you know that?" Haruhi asked.

"Think about it, the symbols, the ways the bodies are positioned, the fact they're all drained of blood, I think it's the work of some kind of cult or something," Tamaki replied.

"And I thought you were going to say 'vampires'," Haruhi smiled weakly.

"They'd fall under the 'or something'," Tamaki said. "But really, I'm writing my European Cultures research paper on the occult and how it affected medieval culture, and the October Moon Killer shows some eerie similarities to some of the cults I've been studying."

"You? Studying the occult?" Haruhi burst out. "You can't be serious!"

"Blame Nekozawa," Tamaki sighed. "He told me no one's ever written a paper about that area of medieval culture, so I decided to do it."

"Are you going to start wearing cloaks and going to Black Magic Club meetings now?" Haruhi teased.

"Hell no!" Tamaki exclaimed. "I just thought it would be an interesting topic to write my paper about!"

"I'm just kidding," Haruhi said, playfully swatting his arm. "Ooh, the movie's starting!"

"If you get too scared, feel free to throw your arms around me," Tamaki replied.

"Only to comfort you."

"Shut up and watch the movie."

Haruhi chuckled and took a handful of popcorn. She loved teasing her boyfriend.

* * *

The next day, all of Ouran was abuzz about the murder.

"I watched the 10:00 news," Kyoya told the Host Club. "The victim was a girl from Lobelia, Katayama Rieko was her name."

"It's always girls from Lobelia," Kaoru said. "Why's it always girls from Lobelia?"

"If it's really a cult we're dealing with," Tamaki spoke up. "The girls that are killed would all be virgins."

"You calling the Lobelia chicks virgins?" Hikaru asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Only technically speaking," Tamaki replied. "Most of them have probably never screwed a guy."

"Only because they're all lesbians."

"That's not exactly the point here."

"Since when did you become an expert in cults, Tama-chan?" Honey asked. "I thought that was Neky-chan's job."

"Neky-chan?" Hikaru asked. "You call him _Neky-chan_?"

"He lets me," Honey shrugged.

"I'm writing a paper on the occult for my European Cultures class," Tamaki said.

The rest of the Host Club simply stared at him.

"I think it's kinda cool," Haruhi slipped her hand into his. "And who knows? Maybe with his newfound knowledge about all things occult we'll figure out who the October Moon Killer is."

There was a moment of silence before Hikaru burst out laughing.

"Holy shit on a sandwich!" the redhead hooted. "You've gotta be freaking kidding me! The boss…the occult…catching the October Moon Killer! Priceless!"

Kaoru chuckled a little to humor his brother, but he knew better than to underestimate Tamaki Suoh. After the incidents with the zombies and the break dancing, he'd finally realized that their sometimes idiotic Host King could actually be a very capable individual.

"Easy, Tamaki," Mori said, restraining the now very irate blond. "Don't kill him."

"All right everyone," Kyoya sighed. "The doors open in three minutes, game faces people."

Tamaki shrugged out of Mori's hold and shot a glare at Hikaru before returning to his usual place on the couch. Haruhi shook her head at both of them before pouring some tea. She had a feeling the murder was going to be on everyone's mind today.

* * *

Over the next week and a half, two more Lobelia girls were killed in similarly gruesome fashions.

"The killings are worse this year," Hikaru said at lunch. "The killer's never left the bodies in plain sight like this before."

"Do you think anyone from Ouran will be targeted?" Kaoru asked, switching on his camcorder.

"Another, movie?" Haruhi groaned. "Seriously?"

"Well, yeah," Kaoru replied. "This is good stuff! I mean, come on! Look at how successful our last two movies have been. _The Host vs. the Zombies_ and _Whacked-Out Wednesday_ combined have gotten over 8 million hits! Youtube is paying us good money for this."

"I personally think you should be splitting the payment with your actors," Kyoya spoke up, the glare on his glasses obscuring his eyes.

"My sentiments exactly," Tamaki said.

"Hey, we can make a deal here—" Hikaru stuttered slightly.

"Don't talk to me about making deals," Kyoya growled.

Hikaru immediately shut his mouth and went back to his food. Kaoru loudly cleared his throat.

"Anyways," he said. "Do any of you think the killer will target a student from Ouran this year?"

"It's unlikely," Tamaki replied. "All the victims for the past five years have been Lobelia girls. The odds of the killer coming after one of ours, especially for their last murder of the year, are pretty slim."

"I just hope someone catches them," Honey said.

"Yeah," Mori nodded.

The seven finished their lunches in a much more somber mood.

* * *

Haruhi was looking forward to a relaxing night at home alone. Her father was working late again and Tamaki was going to be doing research for his paper. She would have the whole apartment to herself. After bidding Tamaki good-bye, Haruhi took a long shower, made her dinner and started on her homework.

The evening was dull, but after joining the Host Club, Haruhi was beginning to appreciate the dull moments in her life quite a bit more. Once she'd finished her homework, she turned on the TV only to find nothing on.

"Well this is pointless," Haruhi huffed, shutting the TV off. "Might as well go to bed."

She'd been up far later than she'd originally intended the night before. After all the talk about the October Moon Killer, she and Tamaki had stayed up doing research on different cults trying to figure out if any of them were responsible for the deaths. They hadn't found anything terribly helpful except for an extremely short article about an ancient sect of very violent Druids. Haruhi hoped Tamaki would have better luck in his research as she shut off her light and went to sleep.

* * *

A cool breeze blew against Haruhi's cheek. She made a low growling sound in her throat, she was positive she'd closed her window before she went to bed. Haruhi slowly cracked her eyes open to find herself face to face with the Zuka Club.

"Hello, fair maiden," Benio purred, her face inches from Haruhi's.

"What the—" Haruhi demanded.

Before she could finish her sentence, Benio pressed a sickly sweet smelling cloth to her face. Haruhi's eyes started to close.

_Not again_, she thought just before she lost consciousness.

* * *

Tamaki awoke to his phone buzzing. He groaned and looked at the clock, it was six in the morning. His alarm wasn't supposed to go off until seven. Tamaki groaned again before answering, it was probably Kyoya calling about something for the Club.

"Hello?" he said groggily.

"WHERE IS SHE YOU BASTARD?" Ranka's voice screamed across the other line. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER?"

"Ranka-san?" Tamaki asked, rubbing his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about," Ranka grew dangerously calm. "Where have you taken my little girl, Suoh? What have you done with my Haruhi?"

Tamaki's stomach clenched, "I walked her home after school…I-I haven't seen her since…"

"Well she's sure as hell not here!" Ranka snarled.

"Sh-she's not at home?" Tamaki stuttered.

"Do you honestly think I'd be calling _you_ if she was?" Ranka replied. "Where did you take her? I saw what you did to her walls and that sick little note you left! You think you're real funny, don't you, Suoh?"

"Note? I'm coming over there," Tamaki said. "I'm coming over there right now. I'm going to call the others and we're all going over there. I'll be over in five minutes, Ranka-san."

Tamaki clicked his phone shut before Ranka could protest and leapt out of bed. He grabbed a t-shirt out of his dresser and picked his jeans up off the floor, at the same time dialing Kyoya's number. By the time he was dressed, Tamaki had successfully called the entire Host Club. He whistled for Johnny, his Chihuahua.

"Hey big guy," Tamaki said, scratching Johnny's bat like ears. "We're going for a ride in the Porsche."

Johnny wagged his tail at the word 'ride' and followed Tamaki out of the house.

* * *

Tamaki was the second person to arrive at the Fujioka apartment, Kyoya being the first. He had no idea how Kyoya did that, he knew his bespectacled best friend lived farther away than he did. Tamaki didn't question it as he knocked on the door. Instead of Ranka, Kyoya answered.

"Tamaki," he said. "I figured it was you."

"Where's Ranka-san?" Tamaki asked.

"He's out talking to my family's secret police," Kyoya replied. "I sent him away to keep him from killing you on sight."

"Thanks," Tamaki said.

"You'd better come inside, you need to see this."

Tamaki pushed past him and made a beeline for Haruhi's room. Nothing, not zombies or body-swapping, could have prepared him for the sight that greeted his eyes. Haruhi's room had been completely ransacked, her futon had been overturned and her dresser drawers had been yanked out and their contents dumped all over the floor. Strange symbols had been painted all over the walls in red and black. Tamaki felt his blood run cold and his throat tightened.

"Those are the October Moon Killer's symbols," Tamaki whispered.

"It gets worse," Kyoya said, handing Tamaki a note. "Read this."

Tamaki unfolded the note and scanned it.

"I can't read it," he said. "I don't know what language this is."

"Neither do I," Kyoya replied.

"But I think I know someone who can," Tamaki fished out his cell phone and dialed Nekozawa's number.

* * *

"Holy shit on a sandwich!" Hikaru breathed, surveying the wreckage of Haruhi's room. "Tell me you're getting this on film, bro."

"Well," Kaoru swallowed hard and panned his camera across the room. "It seems we were wrong about the October Moon Killer. They did break the pattern for their final victim."

"They-they got Haru-chan?" Honey asked.

"Yeah," Mori replied.

Tamaki didn't say anything, he just paced around the living room with his eyes on the floor. There was nothing to say. His girlfriend, his Haruhi had been kidnapped by a serial killer. He was going to save her and he didn't care what it would take. But one thing just didn't make any sense, why did the killer break their usual pattern? Why had they targeted Haruhi? It didn't add up at all.

"There has to be a reason," Tamaki muttered.

"Perhaps that note will give us a clue," Kyoya said. "When was Nekozawa going to get here?"

"He should be here any second now," Tamaki glanced at his watch. "He said he was going to speed all the way here."

As if in answer, there was a knock on the door. Tamaki rushed over and opened it to find Nekozawa dressed almost normally in a black Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt and black jeans.

"Tamaki," he said, entering the apartment. "Where's the note?"

"Right here," Kyoya handed it to him. "I sincerely hope you can read it."

"Nekozawa-sempai?" Hikaru asked. "You look so…so…"

"Normal," Kaoru finished.

"Where's your cloak, Neky-chan?" Honey asked.

"I didn't have time to grab it," Nekozawa shrugged. "Tamaki told me what happened and I wanted to get here as soon as possible, so I just picked up some clothes that were on my floor and put them on as I left."

"But aren't you, like, afraid of sunlight?" Hikaru asked.

Nekozawa let out a snort of laughter, "You mean you actually believe that? Damn, I'm a better actor than I thought I was! Even the Black Magic Club knows that's only for show."

The twins looked at each other, fooled once again into thinking a high school act was a real personality. They were more gullible than they thought they were.

"What's the note say?" Tamaki demanded. "Can you read it, Nekozawa?"

"Yes, I think so," Nekozawa squinted at the note. "It says _The filth of the Earth must be cleansed. This fair maiden is too good for your world._"

Nekozawa lowered the note and glanced at the Host Club. All of them looked disturbed except for Tamaki, he was shaking with rage.

"What do you think it means, Neky-chan?" Honey spoke up.

"In all honesty, I'm not entirely sure," Nekozawa admitted. "However, I think we're definitely dealing with a cult. So Tamaki was right there. The symbols at the bottom of the page, I believe can be traced to an ancient sect of European Druids, aren't you doing research on this, Tamaki?"

"Are you talking about the Pentagram Druids?" Tamaki asked. "I thought the symbols looked familiar."

"Okay, you lost me," Hikaru said.

"The Pentagram Druids were an ancient, very small but very violent sect of Druids," Tamaki began. "No one knows what their actual name was, most historians refer to them as Pentagram Druids because of their heavy use of the pentagram or pentagram like symbols in their rituals. They were big nature worshipers and were very fond of blood sacrifices."

"So you guys think an ancient sect of _Druids_ is behind this?" Kaoru asked.

"The strange thing is, that actually makes the most sense," Kyoya said, adjusting his glasses. "So who do you think these Druids actually are?"

"I'd think it's obvious by now," Tamaki replied.

"No, it's still about as clear as mud to me," Hikaru said.

"Who are the only people that have ever referred to Haruhi as a 'maiden'?" Tamaki asked.

The Host Club exchanged a glance, "The Zuka Club?"

"Exactly," Tamaki said.

"Wait just one minute," Hikaru held up a hand. "You think that the members of the Zuka Club are Pentagram Druids?"

"I know it sounds crazy," Tamaki answered. "But hear me out. I started researching the October Moon Killer to see if there were any parallels to any cults for my paper, I found out that killings of a very similar style to October Moon Killer's first started surfacing about 30 years ago. Kyoya when was the Zuka Club created?"

Kyoya consulted his Smart Phone and his eyes widened, "30 years ago."

"Also," Tamaki went on. "One of the Zuka Club's alternate names is the White Lily League. Pentagram Druids frequently dipped white lilies in blood for their spring rituals and used lily motifs alongside their usual pentagram designs."

"You really know your stuff, don't you," Hikaru said, looking surprised.

"Hey, I want an A on this paper," Tamaki replied. "And I want to save my Haruhi, the Zuka Club is our only chance."

"Well then," Nekozawa spoke up. "I think my work here is done."

"You're not going to help us, Neky-chan?" Honey asked.

"The action hero stuff is more your arena," Nekozawa answered. "Besides, if I'm not in school, who's going to take Suoh's bio notes? Can't have him failing the class now, can we?"

"Thanks, Nekozawa," Tamaki said. "If there's anything you want me to do for you, just ask, okay?"

"Just save Haruhi," Nekozawa turned to leave. "She's a nice girl, I don't want to see her sacrificed at the hands of a bunch of crazy lesbian Druids. I'll most certainly be tuning in once this movie's posted. See you guys around."

With that, he left the apartment.

* * *

Haruhi had a splitting headache. She groaned softly and opened her eyes to find herself lying in some kind of cellar. Haruhi tried to rub her eyes but her hands were tied tightly behind her back. She looked down, her legs were tied too. Haruhi growled to herself and tried to wriggle into a sitting position.

"Benio, the maiden's awake," a voice said.

Haruhi tried to look over her shoulder, but she already knew who was there. Benio, the Zuka Club leader came and crouched in front of her.

"Hello, maiden," she said huskily.

"What do you want?" Haruhi snarled. "I'm still not joining your stupid club!"

"We're past that now," Benio replied. "Since you and that Suoh creature dared defy us, not once but twice, we're going to teach you both a lesson."

"What good will that do you?" Haruhi asked.

"Sister Moon demands your virgin blood," Benio lightly touched Haruhi's cheek. "And Suoh will learn just how powerless he is as a man. Even if he does try to save you, maiden, he will be too late. You're going to die tonight."

"Benio," Chizuru spoke up. "School will start soon, we'd better go up."

"We don't want to be late for our fans!" Hinako added.

"Quite right, girls," Benio stood. "We'll see you tonight, maiden."

The three members of the Zuka Club walked out the door, leaving Haruhi alone. Haruhi pushed herself up into a sitting position and looked around. She was definitely in a basement of some kind and judging by what the Zuka Club had said she was under Lobelia Academy. The floor was concrete and the place was lit by a bunch of bare light bulbs fixed into the ceiling.

"Cozy," Haruhi muttered.

She struggled against her bonds, but they'd been tied very well. She wasn't going to break them. Haruhi sighed heavily and lowered her head.

"Mother in Heaven," she whispered. "Please let Tamaki figure out what's happened to me and please let him come up with a plan."

* * *

"_That_ is your brilliant master plan?" Hikaru asked as they gathered around the Fujioka kitchen table.

"Do you have anything better, genius?" Tamaki shot back.

"Let me get this straight," Kyoya said. "You want us to raid Ranka's closet, go to Lobelia, and convince the school authorities that we're prospective students wishing to sit in on classes for a day?"

"Pretty much," Tamaki replied.

An awkward silence descended on the group.

"Well, I like it!" Kaoru grinned. "It would make a great movie!"

Everyone groaned.

"Does anyone else have any better ideas?" Tamaki asked. "Because if so, I'd love to hear them."

No one said a word.

"In that case, this is our only shot," Tamaki said. "Let's do this thing."

They all stood up and trooped into Ranka's bedroom. It was surprisingly neat and well organized, the bed was made and Ranka's make-up and accessories were placed neatly on the dresser.

"Wow, I guess cleanliness runs in Haruhi's family," Hikaru said, looking around.

"There's the closet," Kaoru pointed. "We going in?"

"Yes we are," Tamaki replied.

"I'm kinda scared," Honey crouched a little lower on Mori's shoulders.

"Courage, Mitsukuni," Mori said.

"Kyoya, would you like to do the honors?" Tamaki asked.

"Might as well," Kyoya opened the closet doors.

A slight rumble issued from the back of the closet and a mountain of clothes in various stages of wear fell out, completely covering him.

"You know," Hikaru said. "I take back my last statement."

"Kyo-chan! Are you alright?" Honey asked.

There was no answer for a moment, then an arm forced its way up from the pile followed by a second. The rest of Kyoya surfaced, looking slightly disheveled with glasses askew.

"Next time, you're doing the honors yourself," he growled at Tamaki.

"Right," Tamaki said. "Anyways, I think this is as good a place to start as any. Start digging, we're bound to find something in here."

"How does he wear this stuff?" Kaoru asked, picking up a pair of lacey panties. "I mean, I know his job demands it, but still…"

"Will I have to wear a padded bra, Tama-chan?" Honey's voice quavered.

"No, you don't have to," Tamaki replied. "Doesn't this guy own any full length skirts?"

"He's a bartender," Hikaru said. "Do you honestly expect him to have any skirts that go below the knee?"

"Doesn't hurt to look," Tamaki answered. "Mori-sempai, you should be looking for something to wear."

The look on the silent third year's face said it all. Tamaki felt himself whither slightly, if looks could kill, he would've been vaporized.

"We'll figure something else out for you, Mori-sempai," Tamaki assured.

"Good," Mori said.

It took some doing, but eventually all of them found an outfit that would suit them.

"All right gents," Tamaki said. "I hate to tell you this, but we're going to have to shave our legs."

"What?" the rest of the Host Club chorused.

"You heard me."

"Shave our legs, boss?" Hikaru asked.

"And our pits."

The guys exchanged a glance, looking a little paler than normal.

"You're…serious, aren't you?" Kyoya said.

"There is no way we can pass ourselves off as girls if we don't," Tamaki replied. "Come on guys, we've dressed in drag before."

"But we never actually had to be convincing!" Hikaru shot back.

"Well times have changed," Tamaki said. "We're doing this for Haruhi, just remember, for Haruhi!"

"For Haruhi," the others answered rather half-heartedly.

Tamaki went into the bathroom and found Ranka's razor and shaving cream.

"How hard could it be?" he asked himself. "I shave my face all the time, it can't be that different."

Tamaki heavily lathered the shaving cream on his leg and picked up the razor. He took a deep breath, placed the razor against his skin…and promptly cut himself.

"OW! Dammit!" Tamaki cursed.

Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

* * *

After much cursing, complaining, and band-aids, the Host Club was finally shaved and ready.

"Ugh, this feels so weird," Hikaru said, rubbing his legs together. "How do girls do this all the time?"

"My respect for women just shot up a hundredfold," Kaoru added. "And we haven't even started wearing the clothes yet."

"Does everyone have enough band-aids?" Tamaki asked.

"I think we've used every band-aid in the house," Kyoya said, inspecting his band-aid covered legs. "Good thing Honey-sempai and Mori-sempai don't have to worry about this kind of thing."

"Let's get dressed, men," Tamaki said. "By the way, do any of you guys have any idea how to put on a padded bra?"

"Well, I was trapped in a girl's body once," Hikaru replied. "But I wore a sports bra that day and you just slip those on. I'm not sure how you wear one of these padded things."

"This just got a little more difficult," Kyoya sighed.

"Okay," Tamaki inspected the bra. "There are clips in the back, so if I put it on one of you guys will have to secure it for me."

"This is so wrong," Kaoru said. "So freakin' wrong! This is the best movie EVER!"

"Kaoru, just shut up," Kyoya glared at the redhead. "This is embarrassing enough already."

"Gah, Kyoya! You secured my bra too tight! Loosen it up a little!" Tamaki snapped.

"I feel like I'm trapped in Haruhi's body all over again," Hikaru complained.

"Don't bring that up, Hika-chan!" Honey said, pulling on his skirt. "I'm traumatized enough as it is."

Mori simply watched the proceedings with a disturbed expression. He was definitely getting more than he bargained for in this adventure. The others finished getting dressed.

"I can't believe I'm actually asking this, but does this skirt make my ass look big?" Kyoya asked.

"Kyoya-sempai," Hikaru said. "You have a regular ghetto booty."

Kyoya was about to take a swing at him when Tamaki breezed in with his arms full of make-up.

"Time to get pretty, girls!" he said with a scarily feminine voice. "We'll never pass for ladies of quality with our complexions."

Everyone stared at him open-mouthed, he could actually sound like a sorority girl. For some reason that fact scared them more than a horde of zombies ever could.

"Holy shit on a sandwich," Hikaru said. "That has got to be the scariest thing you have ever done. How can you do that voice?"

"I'm not really sure," Tamaki answered. "But you guys better start practicing otherwise we're not gonna fool anybody. Now, let's figure out how to do this make-up stuff."

"Why did Honey-sempai have to brain Renge during the zombie incident?" Kaoru sighed. "She really would've come in handy right about now."

"She was a zombie, Kao-chan," Honey said. "She had to die."

The subject was promptly dropped as the boys discovered that applying make-up was an adventure all in itself.

"How do girls do this?" Tamaki growled, nearly stabbing himself in the eye with an eye shadow brush.

"No idea," Hikaru applied a little too much powder to his face and erupted into a sneezing fit.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Kyoya said.

"Are you sure we're actually going to be able to pull this off?" Hikaru went on. "I mean, seriously, the only decent girl here is Honey-sempai, and he hasn't even hit puberty yet!"

"That was rude, Hika-chan!" Honey snapped.

"It's just a risk we'll have to take," Tamaki said.

Once they'd applied their make-up and put on their wigs, it was time for shoes and bags, the final touches. Tamaki selected a large black bag and whistled for Johnny.

"Come on boy," he coaxed. "Get in the bag! Get in the bag, Johnny."

Johnny trotted up, sniffed at the bag once, and hopped inside.

"Good boy, Johnny!" Tamaki congratulated, fishing a Milkbone out of his discarded jeans' pocket. "Alright, let's move out."

They trooped to the door and took one step outside…before Tamaki's stiletto heel caught on the welcome mat and he went down with a curse.

"How do they walk in these things?" he hissed, staggering to his feet.

"It's all on the balls of your feet," Hikaru said. "You see it on the runway all the time. Just watch and learn."

Hikaru started to walk a little ahead of them, easily swaying his hips. The rest of the Host Club exchanged a glance.

"Now _that's_ scary," Tamaki said.

"I didn't even know he could do that," Kaoru added.

They started walking again, everyone but Hikaru, Mori, and Kaoru (who was wearing flats) wobbling along in their heels.

"This is impossible!" Honey whined. "My feet are starting to hurt."

"I should've picked the flats," Kyoya muttered.

"We only have to keep this up until we get to the train," Tamaki assured. "Then we can sit for an hour and plan our next move."

He barely got the last word out before his heel caught on a crack in the sidewalk and he went down all over again.

"Ooh," Kaoru said, zooming the camera in on Tamaki's prone form. "That one looked like it hurt!"

"Come on," Mori picked him up and set him on his feet again. "We can't miss the train."

"Train, right, let's go!" Tamaki tried to run but only succeeded in tripping again.

Everyone groaned, if they pulled this off, it would be a miracle…

* * *

Haruhi's arms were beginning to go numb. She rolled her shoulders and wriggled her fingers but it wasn't much of a relief. Haruhi wondered what time it was, it felt like she'd been locked in that basement for at least a day. She knew that wasn't the case however. Haruhi prided herself on being a rational girl and she knew that Tamaki and the others would be searching for her. That didn't stop the twinge of worry from burrowing into the pit of her stomach. What would happen if they didn't come in time?

**End of Part 1**

**AN: The Pentagram Druids don't actually exist. I created them solely for this episode, any similarities to real cults is completely unintentional. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW PEEPS!**


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